Today, I overheard my wife and teenage daughter arguing. My wife was complaining that our daughter is unappreciative. "You should thank me for giving you life," she said. My daughter snapped, "I thank God for that, not you." My wife sighed and said, "He didn't have to sleep with your father." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter came over, furiously ranting that her husband had asked for a divorce. During the conversation, I asked what she did to make him happy. She glared at me and yelled, "It's not my job to make my husband happy!" I'm on her husband's side after that. FML
Today, my awful future daughter-in-law went off on me and said that I'm just jealous that she's marrying my son and I'm not. Furious, I told my husband, expecting him to side with me, but all he said was, "Well… are you?" FML
Today, my daughter told me that she liked her "other daddy" better. I don't know who's she talking about, but my wife is doing a good job telling her to be quiet. FML
Today, my husband and I sat our 10-year-old daughter down for a chat over her recent cursing. When my husband asked where she'd heard the words, she "innocently" replied, "from mommy's other boyfriend." He took her seriously, accused me of cheating, and hasn't been home since. FML
Today, I had to pick up my drunk mom at bar. While we were driving home, she thanked me over and over again, and then said, "Thank god you have no life!" FML
Today, my husband decided he needs to be thanked after every time he changes our daughter's diaper; if not he throws a temper tantrum. Now I have two babies to deal with. FML
Today, my mom grabbed my phone, said she was taking it because I'd been disrespectful, and hung up my call. I'd been speaking with a work client. This is the gratitude I get for paying all her bills for the past 2 years, all because she's too lazy to get a job. FML
Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML
Today, I was shopping at Costco for a romantic evening with my girlfriend, I bought some flowers, dinner, and a super pack of condoms, At the register behind me, I heard somebody say, "Good thing my daughter has a responsible boyfriend." It was my girlfriend's father. FML
Today, my wife is convinced I don't love my daughter. Why? She got her first boyfriend recently, and I was friendly with the lad, instead of doing the stupid "overprotective dad" routine. Apparently, not feeling the need to act like a dumbass sitcom character means I secretly resent my family. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Collateral damage!
DogStew 20
Your wife sounds like a narcissist.
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Comments (10)
RichardPencil 32
Collateral damage!
DogStew 20
Your wife sounds like a narcissist.
julfunky 29
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
While his wife does sound like a bitch I don’t see how narcissism plays into this.
Alup132 22
Why is this getting booed? He’s right.
Sinshine 28
Your daughter is an idiot but someone brought her up like that.
LadyRen 20
Without you her father your daughter wouldn’t exist. It wasn’t just your wife who “gave her life”. Seems wifey needs to learn marriage and kids take two people not just one.
Aaron O'Neill 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
whomever downvoted this is retarded lmao
lizenhagen 11
Well she didnt have to either.
0neiros 14
How I'd handle it, I'd pack a couple of bags, and tell her in front of the daughter - 'I Heard what you said and that has hurt me very badly. I'm going to take some time off and think about things. BTW She Didn't ask to be made. She was made by what I thought was an act between two people who loved each other, sorry if I was mistaken. She doesn't owe us anything for her existence As for appreciation It's apparent where her lack of it comes from. I really didn't know how little you thought of me until now. I'm leaving, good luck, try not killing each other." Then go to the bank and draw out half, Or leave enough for bills and groceries, of what's in there and go get a motel room for a couple of days. Take no calls from them, pay the motel in cash so it doesn't show on the bank read out. Talk to your boss, if you have some vacation time coming, go on a trip, maybe to some place you've always wanted to go (If you have the money, if you don't get creative, but do for yourself for a bit) Either way think about what's in the marriage for you, because you deserve better than 2 unappreciative cut from the same cloth females.
MamaChey 24
Thank you Dr Phil