Today, my pre-teen brother has started using the entire Axe line because he believes that it will give him an "edge with the ladies". He insists on using the products at least three times a day, including before bedtime. I'm allergic to anything that is perfumed. We share a room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
Today, my brother's refused to shower after 2 weeks of dripping sweat and never changing clothes. He claims the smell is just his "manly musk" and if I can't handle it, then maybe I'm the problem. FML
Today, my brother decided deodorant causes cancer. He goes to the gym every day. FML
Today, I taught my 12-year-old brothers that showering cannot be used as a substitute for deodorant, and that they should use both. One of them was almost in tears. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mom got him a shitload of Axe for his birthday. Now I get nauseous whenever I go near him. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter sprayed themselves with a ton of deodorant and perfume respectively. The two clouds of spray have combined into a noxious gas that slowly traveled through the house, giving everybody an instant, massive headache. Everybody, except my son and daughter. They think they smell great. FML
Today, my brother got the same cologne as the guy I've been seeing for a while. Every time I'm with my brother I think about him, and every time I'm with him I think about my brother. FML
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
McNikk 15
Axe him to stop.
tupelo 6
Ugh.. I wish guys didn't think using a shitload of Axe makes them smell good.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (118)
catharsis5 9
Axe is so popular that most women probably have a relative that smells like Axe. IDK about you guys, but smelling like a girl's relative is not attractive. Personally, I avoid anyone who smells like it. Plus, Axe is cheap perfume.
Meisliz 8
I too am allergic to fragrances of any kind. my allergy can result in anaphylactic shock, so I understand the severity of your problem. Definitely bring it up with your parents and tell them how you are worried about the safety of your health with your brother using all those heavily fragrances items so close to you. I'm sure they will work with you to come to a solution that keeps everyone happy and more importantly keeps you safe.
Funnyguyproblems 1
Why did your brother use axe before bed? It's not like he going anywhere.
darkfireflame 15
Might be time for a sock party for your brother.
WellThen0lo 7
Not...axe I can not even imagine your pain.
Already_Dead 15
This is honestly the reason why I like older guys. They're more mature for their age. Pre-teen boys piss the heck out of me, trying to act cool when they really look like a ****-sucking try-hard. I bet if I get dislikes on this comment it will be from butt hurt little boys. Be patient Op. Soon he'll grow out of that faze. Though, it could be years until he does...
Shauni_bunni 0
Pfft I'd be willing to switch rooms with you
pheonixfire13 17
Same with my brother but he's 18
blackwidowtaco 31
Perhaps you can kindly ask him to go sleep on the couch till he's over his fad