Today, my pre-teen brother has started using the entire Axe line because he believes that it will give him an "edge with the ladies". He insists on using the products at least three times a day, including before bedtime. I'm allergic to anything that is perfumed. We share a room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
Today, my brother's refused to shower after 2 weeks of dripping sweat and never changing clothes. He claims the smell is just his "manly musk" and if I can't handle it, then maybe I'm the problem. FML
Today, my brother decided deodorant causes cancer. He goes to the gym every day. FML
Today, I taught my 12-year-old brothers that showering cannot be used as a substitute for deodorant, and that they should use both. One of them was almost in tears. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mom got him a shitload of Axe for his birthday. Now I get nauseous whenever I go near him. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter sprayed themselves with a ton of deodorant and perfume respectively. The two clouds of spray have combined into a noxious gas that slowly traveled through the house, giving everybody an instant, massive headache. Everybody, except my son and daughter. They think they smell great. FML
Today, my brother got the same cologne as the guy I've been seeing for a while. Every time I'm with my brother I think about him, and every time I'm with him I think about my brother. FML
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML
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Top comments
McNikk 15
Axe him to stop.
tupelo 6
Ugh.. I wish guys didn't think using a shitload of Axe makes them smell good.
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Comments (118)
JDAMs88 10
Seriously, Ive gone through the EXACT same situation. I found blindfolding him and basically scaring the sh*t out of him worked best. No more axe, no more problems.
Misoranomegami 16
Ok it's time for your brother to be sleeping somewhere else. If he's old enough to be interested in ladies he's too old to be sharing a room with you. If your parents can't afford to move somewhere with another bedroom he could try sleeping on the couch. It sucks but it can be done.
SleeplessBeauty 12
The so called smell of a "man" right there.
RavenTheFoxx 16
Personally, I like the smell of Axe, but not when its overused. Then it just gives me a headache. Sorry, OP. Hopefully your brother will realize that this man perfume will not make him a chick magnet.
termin8tor786 10
He is a dumb ass!!
SiegeOfTheSiren 9
It takes years of training to master 'being a douchbag'...your brother just decided to start training.
SiegeOfTheSiren 9
I was rage-typing in my above comment, so I forgot the 'e' in douchebag. Sorry! The world is now realigned.
Raivyn_Grimm 9
This totally sucks for you, but if you're sharing a room with your pre-teen brother.... good god it's going to get worse. Tell your parents or guardians to move him to a different room or something - hopefully before he starts jacking off every night.
ebrainer1 9
'Merica, where advertising bypasses all reasoning centers of the brain!
UofLCardFan08 6
This submission didn't even come from America.
rampatmonkey 7
Axe: the preferred stench of douchebags everywhere