Today, my pre-teen brother has started using the entire Axe line because he believes that it will give him an "edge with the ladies". He insists on using the products at least three times a day, including before bedtime. I'm allergic to anything that is perfumed. We share a room. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML
Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
Today, my brother's refused to shower after 2 weeks of dripping sweat and never changing clothes. He claims the smell is just his "manly musk" and if I can't handle it, then maybe I'm the problem. FML
Today, my brother decided deodorant causes cancer. He goes to the gym every day. FML
Today, I taught my 12-year-old brothers that showering cannot be used as a substitute for deodorant, and that they should use both. One of them was almost in tears. FML
Today, my boyfriend's mom got him a shitload of Axe for his birthday. Now I get nauseous whenever I go near him. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter sprayed themselves with a ton of deodorant and perfume respectively. The two clouds of spray have combined into a noxious gas that slowly traveled through the house, giving everybody an instant, massive headache. Everybody, except my son and daughter. They think they smell great. FML
Today, my brother got the same cologne as the guy I've been seeing for a while. Every time I'm with my brother I think about him, and every time I'm with him I think about my brother. FML
Today, I discovered my brother likes to use our kitchen utensils to scratch his private areas. FML
Today, my brother came out of the shower and sat with my mom and me on the couch. He then says he liked the idea of the extra toothbrush in the shower, it helps him clean between his toes. I have been using that to brush my teeth for the last two weeks. FML
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Top comments
McNikk 15
Axe him to stop.
tupelo 6
Ugh.. I wish guys didn't think using a shitload of Axe makes them smell good.
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Comments (118)
deuceswild 13
Axe him every day how well that's working... hopefully he will give up after a week or so when it turns out girls do not jump on you for wearing it.
ShakeDisPlace 10
#13 That pizza's looking pretty good. mmmmm
Medd_fml 13
Part of the Axe effect is getting a guy his own room for when all the ladies come over.
nyrangersfan9 13
Be a good older sis and teach him how to actually get an edge, that way he'll stop with axe!
The_Thinker 18
What? From my experience, Axe is basically Raid® conjured especially for women.
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Yeah because girls simply love a man who smells like Macy's perfume department..
perdix 31
The smell of Axe is going to be one of the least creepy and annoying things to a girl sharing a bedroom with a boy starting puberty. Your parents need to get off their fat, lazy asses and get another job or a better job, so they can afford to put you in your own room. Trust me, you need to get out of there right away.
Blink_me26 21
That seems a bit harsh...
perdix 31
#37, perhaps, that is, until she is awoken by the sounds of him masturbating, or worse, gets hit by "friendly fire."
celerystalker 5
what makes you think the op is a female?
Blink_me26 21
I mean towards the parents, we don't do that they're fat and lazy they might work really hard
Blink_me26 21
Know* dammit
djinnyf 12
What a mean way to talk about people you don't even know! Speaking with hate and judgments like that around children might harm them more than sharing a bedroom for too long....
Wakachulak 22
This is an opportunity. Demand your own room!
Gallifreya 3
Screw the fact that he's overusing the awful stuff, he's saturating your room and you're allergic to it! Ask him to stop, tell him you're allergic, if he has to wear it he can do it in the bathroom or outside. If that doesn't work talk to your parents, if your door locks, lock him out, and if that doesn't work I suggest revenge in the form of something he reacts to at the same level as your allergy, from sneezing powder to pot plants.
oj101 33
Alternatively, OP's brother could visit a hostel in Slovakia. I hear that's where ladies are real attracted to axe. Not sure what the insurance policy is though.
skyyyy01 11
Axe is more like a lady repellant..