Today, my son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML
Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML
Today, my 12-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter sprayed themselves with a ton of deodorant and perfume respectively. The two clouds of spray have combined into a noxious gas that slowly traveled through the house, giving everybody an instant, massive headache. Everybody, except my son and daughter. They think they smell great. FML
Today, I walked in on my son holding a lighter to the end of a pen and sniffing the fumes. Apparently he thought it would get him high. FML
Today, my son thought it would be a great idea to spray a whole can of spray tan all over my freshly-painted white bathroom walls as an "experiment". He's 18. FML
Today, my pre-teen brother has started using the entire Axe line because he believes that it will give him an "edge with the ladies". He insists on using the products at least three times a day, including before bedtime. I'm allergic to anything that is perfumed. We share a room. FML
Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML
Today, I finally found where the awful lingering stench in my house was coming from. My son thought it would be funny to piss in the baby's humidifier. He's 16. FML
Today, I used an air freshener in my room to make it smell good. At first, the smell was pretty pleasant. However, by the time it'd "soaked in" it smelled just like weed. My whole room stinks of it, and now my mum is convinced I've been smoking pot in my room. FML
Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
At least he had the decency of being stupid in his coverup attempt. Now you know what he's been doing. If he had been clever about it, you'd have been none the wiser. Now kick his ass. For the gross misuse and overuse of Axe, not for the pot.
TheOneTC 8
Oh, Axe isn't "Oder Eliminating?" Who knew?
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Comments (153)
TheOneTC 8
Oh, Axe isn't "Oder Eliminating?" Who knew?
TheOneTC 8
*Odor, wow
trulymickeyj 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ase isnt that golf anyway, especial of you spray it all over. Joints are strong to Lol...
kevsandy303 12
55) This is why you should always reread your comment before posting.
ApollosMyth 22
56, -Or stay in school. >.
blue_seduction 6
Should have fabreezed that shit.
JONNBOY88 9
#55 Are you typing English?
Pix3lJunk 12
Not even Febreeze covers Joint or Cigarette odor completely
onlychildFTW 34
Joints, cigarettes, and cigars are very strong odors that need to dissipate on their own with help from things like fabreeze. A big problem is housing maters absorb those odors as well, making them hard to get rid of.
xdissizit 16
I find that scented carpet powders work well.
mydadpulledout 17
Ozium works wonders, axe just masks the smell, ozium eliminates it.
UncleMuscles 5
Get fresh air circulating in combination with febreeze.
rvnclwprfct731 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
There is no way you DIDN'T deserve this.
brett1506 12
How could the parent possibly deserve that? He didn't decide or tell his son to smoke joints.
rvnclwprfct731 13
I actually had misread it to say "joints I'D smoked" thinking that the son was covering the parents smell but it was too late to edit. I'm eating the dislikes. Lol
rockstar362 8
If you're still hungry after I got plenty to spare
timjones 8
20 last time I checked op is a girl.
seandoc 13
Why does it even matter?
ZombieSnoopy 9
.....it didn't
rvnclwprfct731 13
Thanks for having my back 85
lacirenae 6
Why didn't he just go find a secretive spot outside?
sirpantselot 22
That's a really long way to walk. Plus there are no Pringles OUTside the house.
Cairo_Sanchez 8
Everyone knows you use fabreeze!
ZombieSnoopy 9
He's fried his brain so bad rational things don't make sense anymore
perdix 31
Did it make you involuntarily jump his bones? No? False advertising!! You should axe him not to do that again.
SWhimsynBubbaS 14
Oh man... here comes the puns
Vimy 6
OP should kick her son's axe now before he could go off to further join(t) in on sketchy drug deals. (I tried)
Birdjr1995 5
I just thought of a new Febreze commercial. Can the blindfolded mom figure out that her son is smoking weed right in front of her? Not if he sprays Febreze.
pieman528 10
Gold!
senor_awesome 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Joints smell bad enough on their own, can't imagine how it smells mixed with Axe.
gingerrrr88 11
My brother did that once, it's worse than you think....
jaystreet46 4
Pot is a lovely fragrance. Dunno maybe you've only smelled mexican downtown brown
DocBastard 40
At least he had the decency of being stupid in his coverup attempt. Now you know what he's been doing. If he had been clever about it, you'd have been none the wiser. Now kick his ass. For the gross misuse and overuse of Axe, not for the pot.
michael666 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
smokin a bowl right now and that was funny as hell.
TheStormsFury 8
I doubt anyone cares if you are smoking a bowl or not. If you enjoyed his comment, just leave a thumbs up to Doc and be off with yourself.
AlkaliSam 6
Hey, Doc, according to commenter #11 - Sunkissedluster (a few posts below) - you are a "conceded anti pot dick head." I don't give a shit about marijuana, one way or the other, but I am seriously amused right now. Conceded. Ha. :)
AlkaliSam 6
Damn it, Jim! You already noticed. Ah well, I am still amused.
MsConfusedd 27
Oh god, I'd rather smell pot that Axe. Hey guys who apparently have no sense of smell, no girls like Axe.
Vimy 6
Hey I like Axe....
theslimshadylp 6
I like axe because angels fall from the sky wham I spray it.
Fanain 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I force my boyfriend to wear it. I love it.
rvnclwprfct731 13
I am on team axe as well. It just does something to me.
thefailgurl96 11
I love axe
Catkam623 27
Hey axe is amazing the only reason it's so strong is because us guys smell terrible, in small doses axe does smell really good for those who don't believe me try the fresh clix rub on stick.
klovemachine 24
Axe only works if you spray the girl in their eyes and drag them in the alley :-D (thank you larry the cable guy)
rocketshock 8
I like the rock star and chocolate axe. I prefer old spice though;p Also, my ex used to wear this spray called BOD that came in a red plastic bottle. He smelled freaking enticing whenever he wore that, even though it was super cheap.
DanielleinDC 34
Axe smells pretty terrible as well. And her idiot son must be a real idiot to think some chemical crap would cover up the smell of the herb he was smoking. I'm tempted to say next time try Febreze, but I bet that has a nasty chemical smell as well.
genericfmluser 17
Personaly I like the smell of kilo from axe but other than that it gives me a head ache even in small amounts
Snoopy0718 14
I like the smell of axe...
HalfLit 17
It's funny cause your profile picture looks like your punching your nose closed lol
asleepingbear 8
That must have been a awful smell
sunkissedluster 20
axe is GROSS, but dont be dissing the weed, okay hun??
UltimateGIRness 16
Your profile makes me want to shoot you and myself. I bet you live by yolo and think you have swag don't you
red_headforlife 15
33- agreed.
charvisioku 22
Yeah... your profile makes you seem kind of conceited. No issues with it until the bit where you bash specific commenters by name. Dick move.
DocBastard 40
No charvisioku, apparently I'm the conceited one. Or is that "conceded", sunkissedluster? Hm? By the way, calling an adult "hun" when you're all of 18 years old is incredibly obnoxious.
StormGirl142 24
I just read your profile. You're obviously a moron. By the way, the Doc has a reason for being against the use of weed. He is an actual doctor who understands the negative effects of marijuana. Go get an education and a life, "fuckhead."
Axipiter 24
33 - Thanks a lot. I was perfectly ready to dismiss this as just another idiot without anything intelligent to say, until you mentioned it's profile. Then I had to read it just to see how hilarious it was. It wasn't. It made me want to gouge my eyes out with a spork. I was having a perfectly great day, and now I'm just inexplicably sad. Thanks.
sens3sfailing 25
I'll help you spork out your eyes if you help me with mine. Not sure how the order will work though...either way, her profile screams attention ***** with her picture being focused on her scampish showing of skin in a display of complete lack of any self respect. Keep drinking your tequila so you can forget how you already failed at life at the miraculous age of 18 "hun".
JoeRogansBEARD 15
KILL IT KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!!!!
The_Water_Ninja 9
I was going to say something about this, but, after reading her profile, I decided that nothing needs to be said from me...
Axipiter 24
102, upon further review, I conclude that it may be easier with ice cream scoops. We just get them lined up, then on the count of three, push the trigger-like doohickeys.
n3rdzgotskillz 29
#102 - Actually, displaying your body shows self-confidence! It has nothing to do with a lack of self-respect. Yes, the girl is clearly an idiot, but commenting on her outfit choice (something that is none of your concern and affects your life in no way whatsoever) is exactly the kind of thing that prevents gender equality from ever being achieved. A woman's body should be dictated by no one but herself (same for men!) and having people comment on it like it's some kind of disgusting display is highly sexist, whether you intended it to be or not. tl;dr: please don't be accidentally sexist - especially about matters which have NO IMPACT UPON YOUR LIFE WHATSOEVER.
gc327072 31
Holy shit, #11, your profile and picture scream "I'm a stupid & thirsty yolo bitch."
sens3sfailing 25
my comment had no efdect on your life whatsoever so why preach about it? I feel that, using hee profile, she has no confidence in who she is as a person and thus takes to using her confidence in her looks as being her only way of attracting attention. I prefer to be attracted to a womens personality because of my lack of sexism. I appreciate the point you are trying to make, but try to make sure I am actually being sexist. I find the same qualities in men who show off a lot. both are completely equal in this catagory and I have no idea how you got sexism out of it.
lmf5292 10
120- I'm all for gender equality and self confidence but taking a picture of yourself with your **** half out (#11) is just trashy and gives women a bad image
thunderr 3
you all need to get yolo out of your asses
15Erik 21
What is wrong if DocBastard hates weed? I thought you didn't "give five ***** what the haters say"? Please, inform about how you intelligence is carrying you along in this world.
DjMonroe95 11
Ahhh pot, smells so good. If he wanted to successfully cover the scent, incense does the trick. I wouldn't know though :)