Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my grandmother told me she would pay for me to get a nose job. I never thought there was a problem with my nose. FML
Today, I was feeling really down and insecure after a friend joked about how small my boobs are. When my grandma got me to tell her what happened, she reassured me that all the girls in our family were late bloomers. I said "Really?" and she replied, "Oh no dear. Quite the opposite." FML
Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML
Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML
Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML
Today, I found out that my extremely-flat chested cousin recently got a boob job. When my mom found out, she said "Oh that's great! They look so good!". Then she looks at me and tells me that I should get one. Everyone including my own mother thinks I should get a boob job. FML
Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML
Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML
Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML
Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML
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Top comments
FFML_314 12
Tell her to take the money and use it to get hers off the floor.
SarahBearXoX 0
At least she cares I guess. I found a positive. (:
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Comments (139)
underpaid011 0
don't get implants. be happy with yourself as you are. granny is wise, and knows a lot from her 90 years of experience on this planet - but hold off a bit. my girl has no chest, but I don't care. I'm not in love with her boobs.
squeaker07 15
aww thts sweet. finally a guy isn't such a meathead! kudos for you :)
hashoahxxx 0
take the hint
spaceshan69 0
way to be ungrateful you little ****
hahaalolz 0
woah there don't use that ******* word
LOLSWAT 0
real boobs > fake boobs
meteor_stream 9
Well, if she's really open-minded, explain to her what "delicious flat chest" is. That would make her think I guess =)
kosherkraut 5
If you're going to do it don't do it for a dude. Do it for yourself. If you like their size, just leave them alone and maybe get them lifted if they start to sag.
denvan 0
Just don't get them too big and your good to roll
Autoshot 9
Don't do it. Guys like asses best anyway. Trust me.
TechFire 25
I second this.
RedPillSucks 33
So she should get ass implants?
5t3ff1k4h 47
Wow. I read this very wrong. I thought you suggested HE get ass implants. o.O
Sacredmaiden 0
Soooo not true. Guys like small and real over huge and fake. Or so I'm told.
panicathedisco 0
When I read this, I pictured Betty White as your grandma... You basically have the most awesome grandma in the world.