Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my grandmother when a very muscular young man entered the restaurant. As soon as he walked in, my 70-year-old widowed grandmother looked at him and said, out loud, "Ooh, eye candy!" Everyone in the restaurant began staring at us, and the poor guy's face was red as a tomato. FML
Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML
Today, I was feeling really down and insecure after a friend joked about how small my boobs are. When my grandma got me to tell her what happened, she reassured me that all the girls in our family were late bloomers. I said "Really?" and she replied, "Oh no dear. Quite the opposite." FML
Today, I was at a restaurant with my grandma. A young, ripped gentleman suddenly walked through the door and my grandma looked at him and shouted, "Look! Eye candy!" as loud as she could. He heard it and was extremely embarrassed. To make it worse, my grandma is a widow, so she might have actually meant it. FML
Today, my grandma and her neighbor compared their sports bras in front of me. FML
Today, my grandmother said to me, "You look just like your mother did at your age. Except you're fatter of course." FML
Today, away at college, I called my grandmother to hear how she was doing after her knee surgery. She ended up talking about Hooters and how I should work there because of my "rare body". When I mentioned I've been studying computer science, earning a 3.8 GPA, she replied, "But you're a girl." FML
Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML
Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML
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Top comments
Ranimal 12
Elderly people for the win, again.
grahmagog 14
I got the moobs like jabba
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Comments (76)
Ranimal 12
Elderly people for the win, again.
tehaustiebear 34
Perhaps OP was eating chicken, and the piece he recieved was the breast?
HKCgrimmjow 15
Your a big boy now
happylappy 21
You're *
Sacytrl 28
This is becoming some sort of elderly FML competition. XD
DaniPandi 22
Where is our goddamn old people category?
FALLENSEBZERO 16
Time to lay off the chocolate spread!
jerzjay 17
Time to drop the fork and pick up some dumbbells
LissaMccracken 23
Weird that she even noticed... Why was she even looking?
timss4 19
Cause looking at anyones torso isn't unnatural at all...?
LissaMccracken 23
there's alwaaaays a smartass -.- I just thought it was weird that his grandma was looking at his man boobies. Fucka yoo bic boi for making me feel stupid
JACKxRAWR 22
#44, not even Buk Lau will get you out of this one. Wai yu do dis too dae?
Wizardo 34
Probably from eating too much or your grandmother's glasses are so thick she can see into the future at a time where you do have some breastases.
Pesticides 19
that's my new word "breastases" sounds so fancy
darwinism 30
To which you replied "That's how it all starts gramps. First you see things, then you hear things, and then the mind finally lets go. You know, I'll be the one looking after you, if you could legally call it that"
dontpanic_fml 32
Gramps?
grahmagog 14
I got the moobs like jabba
PoisonedLiquor 17
This comment made my day! Thank you. :)
jw90 18
Maybe it's time to think about exercise?
Supergirl1988 16
Or babyfeeding
KBurns207 17
"I see yours are past your knees." *Eats ice cream*
Brandon_NW 9
Haha good one!!
Whatapuffchild 23
oh..moobs..
JACKxRAWR 22
Yeah! They're like normal breasts exept no-one likes moobs.
MzZombicidal 36
The elderly can be quite mean! Just don't let it upset you too much, OP. :)