Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandmother told me she would pay for me to get a nose job. I never thought there was a problem with my nose. FML
Today, I was feeling really down and insecure after a friend joked about how small my boobs are. When my grandma got me to tell her what happened, she reassured me that all the girls in our family were late bloomers. I said "Really?" and she replied, "Oh no dear. Quite the opposite." FML
Today, I was finally having a conversation with my granny, who I don't get to see often. First thing she tells me was that she was going to have surgery soon, because her "women's insides" were "dangling out." FML
Today, the 86 year old guy next door told me I needed three things in life to succeed: a cook book, a boyfriend, and a boob job. FML
Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML
Today, I found out that my extremely-flat chested cousin recently got a boob job. When my mom found out, she said "Oh that's great! They look so good!". Then she looks at me and tells me that I should get one. Everyone including my own mother thinks I should get a boob job. FML
Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML
Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML
Today, an elderly lady sat next to me on a bench, and started telling me out of the blue about how bad it is to have saggy boobs. I was uncomfortable enough at the unwanted info, without her then looking at my chest and adding, "But I expect you already know that, dear." FML
Today, my neighbor, who is an elderly woman that I barely know, decided to tell me about how she feels she's lost too much weight and now when she looks at herself naked she thinks her boobs hang and look like bull testicles. FML
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Top comments
FFML_314 12
Tell her to take the money and use it to get hers off the floor.
SarahBearXoX 0
At least she cares I guess. I found a positive. (:
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Comments (139)
Loki966 1
lol words of wisdom
Susanbelle12 0
Lmao tiny suckers... Your grandma is my new best friend xD
PWNjaban 0
Old people: they get straight to the point!
squeaker07 15
wow it makes me sad how many people want a boob job. i'm perfectly fine with mine and they're not honkin huge or really tiny. all u girls wanna b fake b fake. you wanna b all natural then smack granny :)
laden_swallow09 35
Forget your granny, I happen to LIKE small boobs! If there's one guy who likes small boobs, then there must be at least a few hundred thousand just like me. After all, men are cockroaches. Or, that's what all women tell ME, anyway… FML
metalheads 0
o wow.!!!
RedPillSucks 33
Take the money and put a down payment on a porshe or some other fast car. Guys like women in fast cars and they wont look at your boob (at least not first).
buggybeauty 0
your grandma is pretty cool.
russian153 4
flat girl. hahahahahahahha ydi
skyeyez9 25
Im a b cup and happy with small boobs. I am 5ft4 with a small frame, so having huge ones would look weird on me.