Mr Denton, U.S. 42 years-old
Today, I was feeling hungry, so I went to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. I found hundreds of weevils festering in my Lucky Charms. FML
Today, my wife told me that she wants a divorce. Apparently, I'm taking too long to forgive her for having an affair. FML
Today, I went in to a job interview with 6 other girls my age. I tried to sit down on a chair exactly like the ones every other girl was sitting on. Then, one of the interviewers offered to get me a more "sturdy" chair. For the entire interview, I got to sit in the "fat girl chair". FML
Today, I was fired from my job. Why? Because my boss has been dating my newly divorced mother, and he didn't want family get-togethers to be "awkward." FML
Today, my girlfriend of two years called me, drunk, telling me how much anal sex hurts with some other guy. FML
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