Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, I was at a pie auction. During it, I had to hold a pie in a glass case to be sold. In the middle of the auction, I raised my hand to scratch my face, and dropped the pie and broke the glass. It was worth $1000. FML
Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML
Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML
Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML
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Top comments
Zebidee 9
Them: "OMG! You have a swastika branded into your face!!" You: "Yeah, I got it years ago when I was in charge of the ovens." Them: *looks horrified* *runs away* You: "No! You don't understand! I was working in a bakery!!!" You: "FML."
FFML_314 12
Swastika shaped pie racks. Sounds like a very family oriented place.
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Comments (91)
suppressed08 2
lol^^ go team Adolf!
EightInchNails 9
No.
suppressed08 2
You know, like Teams Jacob and Edward? Maybe not the best team, but I only had a Swastika to work with.
Cjw1220 0
It actually is pretty good. **** vampires, **** werewolves, go mass murderers!
PixiiLuv 0
WTF!!! this better be a joke
jocelyng_fml 0
when #1 said it I'm like whatever but when 32 said it I laughed :)
pablothepenguin 2
YAYYYYY HITLER!!!
fuzzywazzy012 0
Word
corytheboss 0
hello dere!
zerobahamut03 2
Well you know what that means OP! You must be the reincarnate.
Person000 0
_________ |. _____|#-- @(- _ -)@ |. _|. | |__|
SAMHAlN 0
Stalin owned hitler and everyone knows it. I'm team Stalin he killed more people.
yourlifesfucked 0
Team Pol Pot?
psyco5000 0
nice.
FFML_314 12
Swastika shaped pie racks. Sounds like a very family oriented place.
nekocuppycakes 0
haha yeah! WHAT ELSE IS IN THE OVEN!?
crashtest1205 0
HAHAHA , good one :)
zoraman5 3
I lol'd :D
blankaex 0
Actually, I think the swastika burn mark came from a pie. You know how they put those extra strips of pastry on top of a pie so they know the filling?
nommnom_fml 0
Mmm them some good Jew pies
TheOtherNewest1 6
@18: The Internet. You just won it.
MacdaddyMaddy 0
I'm sorry but if you happen to spot Jews, turn the other cheek literally or you're ******.
relaxedninja 18
just get something to cover it up.
amrik 11
Yeah like burn the skin around it
FYLDeep 26
I'd be pretty turned off if I saw that. God only knows what else you use those ovens for.
bryan4595 0
shell turn on a lot of guys in Germany...now all she needs is a little mustache
InTechniColor_ 0
HAHA
Dragons_corner 6
WAS THERE APPLE PIE AND IS IT OK?????? I know mean or stupid joke but I ******* love apple pie grr
piepieburger 0
what are you talking about? she has a swastika on her cheek; they were probably Jew pies.
boritom 1
That does suck... Especially if you're Jewish.
Daftendirekt1 0
that must of been a pretty big pen for you to slip like that... i'm just sayin'...
ahhnonomhisdude 0
god must want you to be a Nazi pig.
thatgirljen 0
hahaaa
88yasha 7
sucks for you. FYL