Today, while eating s'mores with my boyfriend's family, I misplaced my false tooth. With a team of flashlights and hurt pride, my expensive tooth was found. In dog shit. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, one of my 5-year-old son's teeth fell out, but he's quite scatterbrained and he lost it. He did however find my vibrating duck under my pillow, and is now crying because he thinks that I stole his tooth so that the tooth fairy would bring me a toy. FML
Today, I couldn't find my reading glasses, thinking perhaps i'd dropped them outside, I stepped off my deck bare foot, straight into a steaming dog turd. Only to see my glasses chewed up a few feet away. It went between my toes. FML
Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML
Today, I found out that my little brother has been rubbing my toothbrush in dog shit for the last month because I accidentally broke one of his toys. FML
Today, I went to go soak my dentures because I fell asleep wearing them last night, only to find that my boyfriend threw away the container they were in, thinking it was trash. FML
Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML
Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML
Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML
Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. At the right moment, I got down on one knee. As I was reaching into my pocket to get the ring, she got so freaked out she kicked me in the face. I chipped a tooth and the ring flew off, and now I can't find it. FML
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Top comments
gobiteme2 34
I don't think using dog s__the as an adhesive is very effective.
Regulate 21
This isn't a long story but I'm still finding it rather difficult to process it. So many questions.
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Comments (9)
BeautifulMine 16
I really hope "I'm" wasn't an auto correct
interesting33 37
do you mean in? because you are not dog shit. it happens
Regulate 21
This isn't a long story but I'm still finding it rather difficult to process it. So many questions.
azouwa 26
Ah man. Sorry to hear. That's terrible. You're life sucks.
RichardPencil 32
Why bother with a single false tooth when gap-toothed girls are sexy af? Even Chaucer noticed that a thousand years ago!
gobiteme2 34
I don't think using dog s__the as an adhesive is very effective.
Lobby_Bee 18
Should of paid a few extra bucks for the gold one. You wouldn't misplace it if it was gold.
tonyfan00 38
Sometimes things that are lost should probably remain lost.
Lisa Alexandria 10
Man that really sucks, I'm so sorry!