Today, my new girlfriend canceled my badly needed haircut appointment. She feels that having my female hairstylist wash and cut my hair involves "too much touching" and "counts as cheating." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not." FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of a bad haircut. She was the one who cut my hair. FML
Today, after months of her begging me, I let my girlfriend cut my hair for the first time. It turned out so badly that we are now "taking a break until it looks normal again." FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I was "changing too much." My big change was a haircut. FML
Today, I got the haircut I've been wanting for ages. I then called my girlfriend of two years and asked what she would do if I got a haircut. She told me she would dump me and then invited me to her house for dinner. I'm scared to go. FML
Today, I got offered a free $80 salon haircut by a girl I've liked for awhile. Thinking this was my chance to get close to her, I accepted, only to find out it was for a class her boyfriend was teaching. He was the one cutting my hair. FML
Today, my boyfriend dumped me because I got a haircut without asking for his permission first. FML
Today, I went to get a haircut. I have a pretty bad case of dandruff, so whenever I get one, a lot of it shows. My hairstylist called to her nearby friend twice, then looked at my hair and said, "Blech" under her breath. I got glares when I walked out. FML
Today, my new girlfriend demanded that I delete all my female friends' numbers. Her rationale is, “When them bitches are going through some shit, a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on.” When I refused, she promptly dumped me because she doesn’t "need a potential cheater” in her life. FML
Today, I got a haircut. I wanted three inches cut off. When the lady finished, she had cut off everything but three inches of my hair. FML
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Top comments
jks0308 22
that's a major red flag bro
Csoi 28
I'm sorry, but you should have a conversation with her about it, or even dump her. That much jealously isn't very healthy.
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Comments (172)
RectumRecker 16
Wow, paranoid much?
gracehi 33
She's a *NEW* girlfriend and she's already a possessive, controlling, jealous, psycho? Aaaaaw HELL no! You better send her a "Dear John," change your locks, your number and your route to work before you end up locked in her basement. Don't laugh because that's not a joke. That amount of crazy is crazy by crazy's standards.
kikimiko 7
You need a new girlfriend again
FalloutScrolls 25
Today, it's not getting a female hair stylist. Tomorrow, it's not going to a restaurant and having a female server. Next, you won't be allowed to have a female cashier at a store. Then, how dare you glance in that other woman's general direction. Sooner or later, you'll have to spend all day indoors and not even go to work because who knows how many females you pass by in traffic and well...that's obviously too close proximity. She sounds like a keeper!
Lalala579121 28
And that female neighbor that lives across the street? Nope, it's time to move out to the country.
Dalagninja 8
Imagine having a female doctor and OP needs a life saving procedure...
Epickitty58 29
she knows how much guys get turned on by their heads being sensually rubbed as they get shampooed....
Heteroscodra 8
Red flag, get out while you can. I have an ex like that and he threatened to beat me up for speaking to my dad, started out with a little jealousy.
simongren 5
I had an ex that did the same thing about my coworkers, then the person at the convenience store, then my family. When I was in the hospital they got upset because my nurse was female. Seriously OP, it's a major red flag
Mylehz 13
run
NoahK2003 16
You need to "cut" her out of your life
gil98 2
Be grateful crazy came out so clearly. At least you know before it's too late... *cough* BE MY BABY'S DADDY *cough*
LyricaSilvan 30
Unless that baby ends up being a girl. Heaven forbid he be touched by ANY other female, even their own child.