Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to teach my mother that tampons do not belong in the toilet. FML
Today, I found out that my mom is doing a study and is keeping used pads in the freezer. FML
Today, my mom noticed that there weren’t any tampons in the trashcan during my usual time of the month, and promptly grounded me. I’m not pregnant, I just skip periods sometimes. FML
Today, my roommate got mad at me for putting away the tampons that were sitting on her desk. She rebelled by hanging hundreds of tampons dyed red from every surface in our dorm room. I discovered this while giving my mom her first tour of the place. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML
Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test, saying, "Well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML
Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML
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Top comments
apache316 6
"Man I am so drunk off my ass right now"
calilovesneb 12
It could be worse. My friends mom opened up the trash once to look for her used tampons because she thought she was faking being on her period and hiding being pregnant. All because of some Dr. Phil episode too.
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Comments (280)
SportsKnut 8
Seriously??? Wow I'm sorry you have to live with her
BubbleGrunge 18
This is actually true, and kids are soaking things in alcohol to anally get drunk, but perhaps you can talk to your mother OP. Express your reason for wanting tampons, after all it is your body. Also, let her know that this is not something you're interested in doing, and that if you wanted to get piss face drunk you would drink like a normal person. Converse with your mom OP, it can't hurt!
foreveralways13 6
totally ****** up..
PseudoLink 1
Then again, your mom probably bought them for you if she was still able to throw them away.
KiddNYC1O 22
What?
dannnngthatsux 19
Pseudo is assuming that since she felt she could just throw them away, mom bought them. Not a valid assumption.
Calyx_fml 22
She got rid of your tampons but not the booze in the liquor cabinet? Smart. Kids would never think to DRINK alcohol.
superbubbles 4
That can kill you because the alcohol can bypass the liver and it gets in your bloodstream.
Warden1986 16
Actually this true, however they soak a tampon in alcohol and put it up their pussy. The alcohol then goes to the blood steam faster then cusoming it orally. However it is very dangerous as it can lead to alcohol poisoning. How do I know this? I worked in an ER for five years, and I saw girls coming in so drunk they has to be admitted for several days. It's very sad, however this does happen specially a lot in high school and college. I think op your mom did over react in a way but then again, perhaps she was just trying to look after you. Although I think she should of talked to you and trusted you enough not just go throw away your tampons.
SLC_grumpypants 5
How in the world would a person insert a "used" tampon (for all practical purposes) into a body cavity. It's like wiping before you poop. Just doesn't make any sense :-/
JRLovecraft 6
Soak them while they're still in their plastic inserted thingy.
touchesthelight 8
They don't use a used ones. They use fresh ones. Don't be an utter doofus...
mphoolid 3
Get a new mom
winfieldALJD 6
Doggie!!!
momogal 22
#61 kids are doing that, too. They use salt to make more of a liquid. It's basically a shot of hard liquor. Though I would NOT recommend this since there are more ingredients in hand sanitizer than just ethyl alcohol.
patacus 14
that sounds like it would be 100x more painful than just drinking the vodka in the first place