Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML
Today, my mom noticed that there weren’t any tampons in the trashcan during my usual time of the month, and promptly grounded me. I’m not pregnant, I just skip periods sometimes. FML
Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
Today, my roommate got mad at me for putting away the tampons that were sitting on her desk. She rebelled by hanging hundreds of tampons dyed red from every surface in our dorm room. I discovered this while giving my mom her first tour of the place. FML
Today, I had to teach my mother that tampons do not belong in the toilet. FML
Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML
Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML
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Top comments
theslimshadylp 6
The recycling company will gladly tell you to just throw that away no questions asked.
MrBond007_fml 6
This is a good thing. Your father has taken it upon himself to save the world... One tampon box at a time...
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Comments (105)
daisy2101 7
...wow
Kitastropheee 12
Boy, you've put a lot of thought into your comment.
daisy2101 7
I know. It took me ages to think of
boating_guy 33
Criticizing lame comments with lame, un-insightful comments of your own doesn't make your comment any more meaningful than the entirely meaningless first comment. Just stop...
MrBond007_fml 6
How is this an FML? Your father has taken it upon himself to save the world... One tampon box at a time...
theslimshadylp 6
The recycling company will gladly tell you to just throw that away no questions asked.
marmlr339 14
My Dad is like that with electricity consumption. Everything has to be turned off and unplugged when not in use. I cant even Leave a light on if I walk out the room for a moment.
onlychildFTW 34
That could get a bit annoying. But at least he cares about the environment and he wants to save money. Sometimes, though, people can get carried away with the whole recycling/energy thing.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
That's why you use plastic applicator tampons
tabbycat2007 22
...plastic can be recycled too.
christyxbee 15
That's really creepy...
ThatRandomGuy42 2
Well, at least he cares about the environment...
ruabadfishtoo 0
...perhaps a little too caring, don't cha' think?
thgiL 9
Too caring about earths sustainability? Thefuck?
iseyixes 18
Extreme green.....
SystemofaBlink41 27
I just imagined a bunch of shirtless, muscular men growling while recycling...
Kitastropheee 12
It's great that he recycles, but that's just disgusting.
Mideoyeo 12
How is it disgusting? You don't use the cardboard part.
Drigr 9
Unless it has a cardboard applicator, they DO use the cardboard part in that case.
bReLiNg 18
It's gross because it came in *contact*. Would you like to be the poor recycling man and find a pile of used cardboard applicators?
I_Bite 22
mine have never come with any applicator. but I'm sure he just means the box not the part thats been... used
iCake 13
Is your daddy completely okey?
tne201992 12
The real question is, are you okay?
annie_nk 23
The really real question is are we all okey?
jellycorn 13
The really reallest question is, are they okay?
Drigr 9
The real question is, shut up, all of you.
angel_of_death55 7
The real question is I'm retarded
KiddNYC1O 22
Yes you are...
XmyviolentheartX 13
70- No questioning that...
MrBond007_fml 6
This is a good thing. Your father has taken it upon himself to save the world... One tampon box at a time...
babe7260 30
She said from her tampons, as the applicators I believe ......
yuzuhere 21
Who knows? Maybe he'll squeeze out that delightful bloody goodness into a cup for donation.
boofgall 16
What's wrong with you?
annie_nk 23
No. Just no. Period blood is NEVER a good joke subject. Ew.
BlowinChronic 18
That was just disgusting... How did you even think of that? Wow that image is burning in my head now...
thatonename 7
Guys, it's a previous fml. Boyfriend wondered why girls don't donate period blood. I thought it was rather funny.
KiddNYC1O 22
When referencing goes completely wrong.
iamsostrange 6
At least he didn't ask you to recycle the tampons themselves as well.