Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to teach my mother that tampons do not belong in the toilet. FML
Today, I found out that my mom is doing a study and is keeping used pads in the freezer. FML
Today, my mom noticed that there weren’t any tampons in the trashcan during my usual time of the month, and promptly grounded me. I’m not pregnant, I just skip periods sometimes. FML
Today, my roommate got mad at me for putting away the tampons that were sitting on her desk. She rebelled by hanging hundreds of tampons dyed red from every surface in our dorm room. I discovered this while giving my mom her first tour of the place. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML
Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test, saying, "Well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML
Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML
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Top comments
apache316 6
"Man I am so drunk off my ass right now"
calilovesneb 12
It could be worse. My friends mom opened up the trash once to look for her used tampons because she thought she was faking being on her period and hiding being pregnant. All because of some Dr. Phil episode too.
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Comments (280)
Alastrina_fml 20
A stupid story and an even stupider reaction. Nobody gets drunk anally, and besides, what's the point of doing that if you can't even enjoy the taste? Stupid kids....
dannnngthatsux 19
Moonshine and Everclear aren't about the taste, they're about blanking out from something. If it was about the taste it wouldn't be in the ass!
PandaMantis 6
She could try the divacup if her mom won't reconsider.
zeldaluvr2007 15
Well, tampons can be bad for you as they are...heard of toxic shock syndrome? More likely to happen with the heavy flow tampons. But FYL, OP. Your mom definitely overreacted.
dannnngthatsux 19
Not according to the packages I've read...it comes most times from leaving them in too long. A bacteria really loves the moist food and leaving them in too long gives them a chance. Pads and cups are safer, but tampons are for bullet wounds!!!
fadingaway 17
FYL. Try a menstrual cup - it's the same idea as a tampon, only better. You won't have to deal with pads and your mom can't complain because you can't really use them for alcohol.
redtigerlily 5
It's not a scare story it's a fact.
Epikouros 32
Yeah, people smoking bath salts is a fact too, but that doesn't mean all the kids are doing it.
iLahYou 7
It is actually true. Google it
ohyeahitsalysa 4
Eww pads suck D: fyl!
bonga1oo2 4
I am sad to say that story is true
cassbird09 12
Does that work?
cl4ptp 18
Wouldn't the alcohol just burn your ass? Think about all the capillaries that are up there. There's more than are in your nose and it would be excruciatingly painful to sniff the alcohol up your nose, let alone insert a soaked tampon o.O
dannnngthatsux 19
Not many pain receptors in the ass. many more in nose.