Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to teach my mother that tampons do not belong in the toilet. FML
Today, I found out that my mom is doing a study and is keeping used pads in the freezer. FML
Today, my mom noticed that there weren’t any tampons in the trashcan during my usual time of the month, and promptly grounded me. I’m not pregnant, I just skip periods sometimes. FML
Today, my roommate got mad at me for putting away the tampons that were sitting on her desk. She rebelled by hanging hundreds of tampons dyed red from every surface in our dorm room. I discovered this while giving my mom her first tour of the place. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML
Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test, saying, "Well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML
Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML
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Top comments
apache316 6
"Man I am so drunk off my ass right now"
calilovesneb 12
It could be worse. My friends mom opened up the trash once to look for her used tampons because she thought she was faking being on her period and hiding being pregnant. All because of some Dr. Phil episode too.
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Comments (280)
dansythomas 6
1- 800 choke dat hoe.
xpaulatanx 10
Your mom is among one of the biggest idiots if she can't even trust her own daughter. What a shame.
iMoayad 9
OP sorry to say but your mom spends a lot of time reading reddit posts that post was their last week I saw it lol http://alturl.com/mh3d8
captainburke 5
The "vodka soaked tampon"! I heard about that several months ago and was intrigued I won't lie... Guys have to insert it anally, girls can put it where it belongs :)
hateevryone 15
And she believed that?
simyoung100 4
That actually happened
SiriusBlack97 17
I've done it before. It burns, but you get wicked ****** up
Slender_Man 6
You're only fifteen. What would your parents think?
allerz 0
That's actually been on the news. Teens ARE doing that.
kayliers 5
Y would anyone do that... People die from that!!!!!
melantysaurus 3
Problem: once soaked in fluid, any fluid..they can't be inserted anywhere without a speculum or some such because they are WET AND SQUIDGY!!!
itsme1321 3
*facepalm* They leave it IN the applicator, soak it in liquor, THEN insert it into the orifice of their choosing, and discard the empty applicator. It doesn't swell if it is soaked while in the applicator.