Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to teach my mother that tampons do not belong in the toilet. FML
Today, I found out that my mom is doing a study and is keeping used pads in the freezer. FML
Today, my mom noticed that there weren’t any tampons in the trashcan during my usual time of the month, and promptly grounded me. I’m not pregnant, I just skip periods sometimes. FML
Today, my roommate got mad at me for putting away the tampons that were sitting on her desk. She rebelled by hanging hundreds of tampons dyed red from every surface in our dorm room. I discovered this while giving my mom her first tour of the place. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML
Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test, saying, "Well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML
Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
apache316 6
"Man I am so drunk off my ass right now"
calilovesneb 12
It could be worse. My friends mom opened up the trash once to look for her used tampons because she thought she was faking being on her period and hiding being pregnant. All because of some Dr. Phil episode too.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (280)
Dcm210 19
how do guys do that?
jenniiienyc 5
Guy don't have b holes?...
touchesthelight 8
You're seriously going to ask that question? Really? Where does a man usually stick something, huh? Up his ASS! Duh!
dannnngthatsux 19
wouldn't that be all of him?
perdix 31
That could work! Now, there's a way for guys to buy tampons without appearing to be a pussy-whipped dog.
anonymous0420 3
Good way to beat the breathalyzer op
callous 2
Actually the alcohol still shows up in the breathalyzer because the alcohol goes straight to your bloodstream and is expired through your lungs. Yes, your breath will still smell like alcohol.
anonymous0420 3
Will it smell like shit too
lildipper 0
You don't have to do it anally....
naduskalove 3
Damn.. that's just a whole new level of naiveness . Good luck explaining her that it is a false statement. I still face some difficulties with my mom when it comes to the internet .
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
*naivety
laurenlovesjb 20
Wow that's stupid.
martin_martian7 11
I heard this on Hodgetwins! Lol
SooperSuper 2
Sounds tempting..
Ray_of_midnight 23
Was für ein Blödsinn.
kaymi 17
At least she didn't see anything about the vodka eyeball shots. She might've been trying to poke your eyes out of your sockets right now.