Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to teach my mother that tampons do not belong in the toilet. FML
Today, I found out that my mom is doing a study and is keeping used pads in the freezer. FML
Today, my mom noticed that there weren’t any tampons in the trashcan during my usual time of the month, and promptly grounded me. I’m not pregnant, I just skip periods sometimes. FML
Today, my roommate got mad at me for putting away the tampons that were sitting on her desk. She rebelled by hanging hundreds of tampons dyed red from every surface in our dorm room. I discovered this while giving my mom her first tour of the place. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML
Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test, saying, "Well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML
Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML
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Top comments
apache316 6
"Man I am so drunk off my ass right now"
calilovesneb 12
It could be worse. My friends mom opened up the trash once to look for her used tampons because she thought she was faking being on her period and hiding being pregnant. All because of some Dr. Phil episode too.
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Comments (280)
paijus 0
If you're drunk, you're drunk. Just. Because your breath doesn't smell like alcohol doesn't make sodomy any better :s...
Derrrrrrp32 6
Wtf x infinity
Krulin 8
Gotta love those teenage scare stories. My friends and I once threw a bunch of Axe Body Spray cans into a bonfire in the woods when I was younger, and I guess some people found the exploded cans. A few weeks later there was this huge story about teenagers puncturing the cans and huffing them to get high, never mind that the cans were all blackened and pretty much ashes.
neuroticallyyour_fml 17
I bet your mom is also the type of mom that believes everything that comes out of Dr. Phil's mouth in regards to teenagers, parenting them and the stupid (and dangerous) fads popular with them. I genuinely feel sorry for you OP.
ILoveZombieBoys 13
LMFAO AGREE W. #1
equius4life 8
OP delivered.
DylansMomma 9
Your comment : That puts a new spin on "drunk off your ass" now doesn't it OP.
talloctopus 7
Thats just nasty and stupid. Imagine the amount of pain you would be in after that. Eww
andrew6p 19
Lmfao.... Thats a good one
mrsowens5 7
It's true...a few kids were admitted to the hospital here for doing this.