Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to teach my mother that tampons do not belong in the toilet. FML
Today, I found out that my mom is doing a study and is keeping used pads in the freezer. FML
Today, my mom noticed that there weren’t any tampons in the trashcan during my usual time of the month, and promptly grounded me. I’m not pregnant, I just skip periods sometimes. FML
Today, my roommate got mad at me for putting away the tampons that were sitting on her desk. She rebelled by hanging hundreds of tampons dyed red from every surface in our dorm room. I discovered this while giving my mom her first tour of the place. FML
Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML
Today, I had to admit that I'm an alcoholic when I spent my last dollar bills on Southern Comfort instead of tampons. FML
Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML
Today, I found my mom throwing my very expensive and important medication down the toilet. She thought I was doing drugs. FML
Today, my mom was going through the newspaper and cutting out coupons for me to use. She hands me two of them, one for tampons and the other for a pregnancy test, saying, "Well, you're gonna need one or the other this month." FML
Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML
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Top comments
apache316 6
"Man I am so drunk off my ass right now"
calilovesneb 12
It could be worse. My friends mom opened up the trash once to look for her used tampons because she thought she was faking being on her period and hiding being pregnant. All because of some Dr. Phil episode too.
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Comments (280)
Forest_Berry95 6
Humm that gives me an idea... "Mom, we need to go to the store."
Old_Iron_Sides 6
If you actually did this you would almost certainly get alcohol poisoning, and maybe even die. The alcohol is absorbed into the bloodstream at a different point and thus does not have the "first pass" effect. This means it is not passed through the liver to be processed before reaching the brain and other vital organs. Because alcohol is so easily absorbed through the Blood-Brain Barrier, this means there is no filter stopping the alcohol from going straight to your brain. it is excessively dangerous to do this.
Forest_Berry95 6
Ugg, after reading these comments, I've greatly reconsidered.
RedPillSucks 33
Mention to her that mouthwash is 25% alcohol, and can be purchased by anyone without an ID. When she gets a cold, mention to her that you wont be buying that Sudofed from the "drug" store because it can be used to make Meth.
Bvbarmychic 0
I wudnt blame ur mom for being concerned. Every mom has a rite 2 b
RedPillSucks 33
Mention to her that mouthwash is 25% alcohol, and can be purchased by anyone without an ID. When she gets a cold, mention to her that you wont be buying that Sudofed from the "drug" store because it can be used to make Meth.
TcheQ 12
Be thankful that being a gullible retard is not genetically transferable. Continue to make a mockery of your mother by putting up signs in your house with obvious BS until she comes to her senses (if she has any)
stephalicious10 7
Omg I just read that article. It is possible by the way...
rainbowsforall 7
Does that even work? Why would anyone want to do that? 0.0
GypsyRover 0
Great job young ladies! Start working that hole early and getting used to the the pain. This is the happiest thing I have heard on Fml!