Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after watching sexual explicit material on the family computer. FML
Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said, "You know, I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses." FML
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Top comments
NGM_47 0
BLACKMAIL your dad into buying you whatever you want :D
Orchid_fml 2
hahah , that was a lose situation no matter what . =/
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Comments (267)
17xVampx17 0
Wow mike you're kind of a ******, you semi admitted you were gay, I hope you get AIDS. I'm not overreligious by the way, I'm an athiest, but faggots deserve to die. :) Have a nice ******* day.
mike1921 0
Wait...how the **** did I semi-admit I was gay? Also, you're an ignorant bastard
SmileandWave 0
What's wrong with gays? He never said he was and even if he was why should it matter?
blake116 0
82 you are an ignorant asshole and op dont out your dad he might just be trying new things maybe hes just bi curious.?..
scizzerin 0
wow. no really. Anyway, to the OP, definately use this as a 'get out of jail free' card with your dad. Good luck with it.
caancoha 0
Homophobes are so amusing. Bashing gays is a defense mechanism that distracts them from their own insecurity about their sexuality. I'm not confused at all, and everyone knew I was a lesbian before I came out. It's how I feel right- with a woman. What's so wrong about love? I deserve to die because I fall in love with women? Okay. Regardless, "hell" will be so much more interesting and fun. Everyone will have a blast. Plus, it will obviously be fashionable.
plexico 4
Your mom is right, gay **** is bad for young women. You really need to focus on STRAIGHT ****! At your stage in life, you need to learn the intricacies of double penetration, cumshots and bukkake! It's up to you to branch out to fisting, fetishes and/or bondage, but you should look at some hot MILF action for future reference.
junjouromantica 0
#93, try telling that to all the yaoi fangirls in the world. Yeah, I'm one too. And a proud one at that.
BadLuckTuck 0
Right on, #221! BTW--my favorite is your username :D
SmileandWave 0
Wtf you fat shit? Is that so you can throw it at us to prove that Rasputia is the ultimate fucktard who needs a good slap? Question number 2: How does following and replying to your comments make us attention ****** as well? You're an idiot and people like you should be shot. And just because you say you're winning doesn't make it so. You need to get yourself a life. Or some cyanide.
jahwn 12
Be proud for saving your parents marriage, if your mom got that pissed, she probably would divorce him if she found out. Also, teach your dad about private browsing and your mom about tolerance and privacy. God dammit, my first comment didn't post until now.
weezi_fml 0
omg..well as long as the situation passed thats agood thing you did covering up
Vasir 2
I hate you i hate you i hate you. How you talk, it pretty much says "I'm an illiterate idiot" Seriously, i hate you. I hate people who type bad.
Chalaka 0
If someone says they have a life guess what?......they don't so just stfu because nobody likes you
RPGod 0
Yaoi Fanfiction is awesome. YDI for not reading it.