Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after watching sexual explicit material on the family computer. FML
Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said, "You know, I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses." FML
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Top comments
NGM_47 0
BLACKMAIL your dad into buying you whatever you want :D
Orchid_fml 2
hahah , that was a lose situation no matter what . =/
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Comments (267)
17xVampx17 0
Movie quote that conveys misanthropy, my favorite is probably the Joker's simply because it's so negative and blunt. "I'll show you, when the chips are down, these civilized people, they'll eat each other"
Subjectzero 0
never take the fall. your dad owes you for this.
fawfulster 11
People you need to calm down or else the FML staff is going to block the comments!
replaceme 0
why the **** are you douches talking about twilight? my god.. anyway, FYL honey.
17xVampx17 0
Caancoha, you're obvious disregard to even attempt to conceal the hypocrisy in what you said is amusing and irritating at the same time, saying that homophobics bash gays as a defense mechanism is obviously not true in all cases, or else there would be a completely new definition to homophobic. Claiming that someone is doing something that offends you as a defense mechanism is in itself a defense mechanism, you're trying to excuse the fact that maybe not everyone supports you and your lifestyle, and that there must be some kind of self-loathing behind their obviously "indirect" hatred. I think you need to grow up and stay out of arguements in which have nothing to do with you, or if you're going to interrupt; make a point that's not based purely off personal beliefs that have no real foundation whatsoever. Hope atleast one person understands what I said here, I might even gain a little faith in humanity :)
SmileandWave 0
Vamp I completely understood what you said. However being a misanthrope myself it wouldn't bother or surprise me all that much if I failed to restore your faith in humanity. :P
mike1921 0
The arguement was actually extremely easy to follow but it seems the way FML works with the reply system is ****** up when you remove posts.
Copilot 0
So since you are a women you looking up gay **** would be lesbian ****? Nothing wrong with your father looking up lesbian ****, he should like lesbians...
abylaunch 10
she could get an STD because if he's interested in men then there's a good chance that he will end up sleeping around on her
Dakarads 0
lmfao wow i cant stop laughing.
plexico 4
I think they got rid of all of the Rasputia comments which always have a tie-in to KFC. It's cute at first, but gets old real fast.