Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after watching sexual explicit material on the family computer. FML
Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said, "You know, I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses." FML
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Top comments
NGM_47 0
BLACKMAIL your dad into buying you whatever you want :D
Orchid_fml 2
hahah , that was a lose situation no matter what . =/
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Comments (267)
aback 5
I think you'd better have a talk with your Dad.
SmileandWave 0
Was that really neccessary?
mike1921 0
I care because it makes you hard to read and makes you look like a retarded pothead 15 year old girl
Donttellanyone 0
Oh my god can everyone please stay on topic of the fml and not talk about random stupid things?! OP: you should tell your dad about it because your mother deserves to find out from him. But tell him that if he doesnt tell her you will. And your obviously a good person for taking the blame.
Bboy_DiSpirit 24
why were you not able to tell on your dad?
thelonelylurker 0
I guess you're getting something extra nice this Christmas!
hahasuckstobeyou 0
You are a great straight man. I salute to thee. And FYL.
xfrankenstienx 0
Well truthfully,your a woman and frankly gay **** should be a turn on (unless your atracted to Girls) and you should enjoy it.But hey maybe it just doesnt do it for you.Honestly,I think you should talk to your father.
yaktazuki 0
all of your coments are gonna get buried so suck it, bitch
yaktazuki 0
Mike, you ned to stop comenting with your retarded comments. we all know that your a little ****, only gay person i have something againt. I hope you rot in the pits of hell. And get banned from this site. :-P
mike1921 0
I am not gay and I am not little. I'm 5'5", I weigh 170 pounds. I don't really give a damn about you thinking I'm gay because that's like you thinking I'm left handed, you're wrong but who cared. I'm an atheist so I think if god exists and is that much of a judgmental asshole I'm going to hell anyway.
SmileandWave 0
That didn't help your case Mike. 5'5" is actually quite small for a 14 year old male. If you were a girl it wouldn't be small.
SaintJimmy 0
Really? Because when I was 14 I was about 5'1", I get that I'm a small-ish guy, but I'm not a midget. And 5'5" at 170 lbs is a BMI of around 28%, and that's overweight.
mike1921 0
Is that in metrics or something? I know I'm taller than most of my classmates , and about the same size as my dad (who, I admit is short). Edit: Yes it is oberweight, but I don't care, really
SaintJimmy 0
Nope because in metric units it'd have to be in meters, and 5 meters tall person would be a ******* giant.
SmileandWave 0
I didn't mean to offend you when I said you were short, it's mainly because most of the guys I know are around 6 foot so to me 5'5" is short for a guy. But to be fair I am almost 16 so.. there's a difference there.
yaktazuki 0
that means that your a fatty and obviously you are on the computer then
yaktazuki 0
and you are short mike. Im also 14 and im 6 feet haha bitch :^)
mike1921 0
That means you're tall you idiot. Someone isn't short just because you're taller -_- Also, yes I am on the computer, how else do you get to FML?
SmileandWave 0
Oh ok I'm not the only one saying you're short I don't feel so bad now haha. I'm still convinced that the majority of my guy friends were taller than that at 14