Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after watching sexual explicit material on the family computer. FML
Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said, "You know, I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses." FML
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Top comments
NGM_47 0
BLACKMAIL your dad into buying you whatever you want :D
Orchid_fml 2
hahah , that was a lose situation no matter what . =/
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Comments (267)
caancoha 0
Hell yeah, #10! Except mine's more femslash. Quality femslash that usually is not written by guys, because men usually write femslash that is the equivalent of **** with bad acting. OP, you're a good person. Your dad is lucky to have you. Obviously if your mom knew it was him, it seems that she would have gone WAY overboard, and your dad would be done for. I respect you, OP. And I'm thinking you posted this knowing your dad goes on this website, so he knows what you did for him.
Zario777 0
Theres also a possibility that the same thing could happen like on South Park. Butters wasn't so lucky. =/
dead14eternity 0
props for not giving up your dad.
zabeth_fml 0
hahahahah that made my day
mike1921 0
That made me wish I had a way to report people to the mods so if they hate this shit as much as I do they'll ban her :|
aquarius6 0
tell her she must know!!
streetmember 0
haha did you tell your dad? I guess he ows you.
shyguy_fml 0
That's so extremely nice of you! Kudos to you for keeping your Dad's secret, but I'd still confront him, since if he's really into men, your mom definitely has the right to know.
adventuring 0
Not necessarily. It's entirely possible that the OP's father is bisexual. As reading gay fanfic is NOT cheating, she has just as much of a right to know this as she does if he was watching/reading het ****. Which just depends on the person, I suppose. I'm all for sharing, but she doesn't sound like a particularly tolerant person.
XRiseToFallAgain 0
Mike, shut up already. You're a 14 year old attention ***** who thinks he's gay. Really? I have no pity for you if you go around acting insecure enough to tell people you're a homosexual when you're barely a teen.
mike1921 0
wtf? I never said I'm gay. I said I got the impression the OP's mom was homophobic.
mike1921 0
If I was then who the hell cares?
Lonely_Lez 0
I know many, MANY people who discovered their sexualities at age 14 or younger. You need to open your mind a bit.
AXavierB 1
Most people realize their sexualities in their early teens. I can't stand when people say someone is too young to know what their sexual orientation is. And Mike never said he was gay anyway.
aksteve 4
You should tell her...YDI because that's loyalty to a fault