Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after watching sexual explicit material on the family computer. FML
Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said, "You know, I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses." FML
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Top comments
NGM_47 0
BLACKMAIL your dad into buying you whatever you want :D
Orchid_fml 2
hahah , that was a lose situation no matter what . =/
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Comments (267)
Orchid_fml 2
hahah , that was a lose situation no matter what . =/
Montville1 0
but straight **** is acceptable? lol and why did you have to take the fall?
MooTaters 0
Really...I think your mom deserves to know if her husband is gay no matter who the news comes from.
WillDrift4Food 0
at least he was a good son.
hahaohwell 0
he could be bi that exists ya know
MassachusettsBoy 0
Ahaahahahaha you asses. This particular FML is fake. Notice the gender of the author. A hell of alot of FML's are fake. Dumbasses think they are real... omg.... BTW #1 Im just replying to u so thie will be up at the top...
JamesM9794 0
you must love your dad a lot (dearly not queerly) to have done that for him
conrad150295 0
you do realize OP is a girl
hilda_kitty 16
Whats wrong with liking slash? ...I read it all the time...
number1storm 0
Straight **** is fine, as is gay.
mike1921 0
FYL because you're mom's an ignorant bitch.
0neiric 0
How is it Ignorant? OP's mother is probably more concerned with the **** part than the gay part.
mike1921 0
Ok, then she's just a bitch. I'm assuming the OP is atleast a teen, it's normal for them to look at **** and there's nothing wrong with it. I get the impression she meant gay though :| .
mike1921 0
If you're gonna burry my comments I think they atleast deserve you to give a response too instead of just leaving me unable to defend myself -_-
mike1921 0
How come this shit doesn't get burried while my valid opinions do?
mike1921 0
Rasputia isn't in charge , so back the hell off. I miss 0neiric when he/she was responding to me :(
Kervik 0
Unburied due to valid opinion! :D But then someone buried them . . . -.- Sounds like one awesome explanation, original poster.
mike1921 0
I'm an attention *****? I simply stated my opinion and then you idiots decided to burry it for no good reason. That makes my opinion look uninformed without you having to actually do something I could fight back against. Also, if you've seen my posts in other FMLs you'll know I am by no means an attention *****. Simply a 14 year old stating his opinion . Thank you kervik :P Rasputia DON'T MESS WITH KERVIK
IceCubez 0
Because this is the internet, we aren't suppose to make sense. To you.
Kervik 0
KFC already is as bad as McDonalds - tonnes of preservatives in everything, tortured animals, old; cold food, bad staff, crappy restaurants: I think you made Mike' all the happier. Alas, with these facts presented, you have failed to the wrath of almighty Kervik!
mike1921 0
RASPUTA IS NOTHING BUT FAIL! Unburried Also, for the love of god stop it
Kervik 0
Correction: 'mummy', please stop with your Americanism. ^^
mike1921 0
It's not exclusive to the US either. Everywhere else it's mummy
mike1921 0
mum is a hell of a lot cooler and more lax then mum.
mike1921 0
I make no sense? Tell me what you didn't understand.
AP13_13 0
You kind of did. Twat.
SmileandWave 0
It makes sense for them to say mommy if they are American. Apart from that Rasputia is clearly as much of an attention ***** as they said mike is and needs to get a life.
Kervik 0
Mom is just pronunciation taking over people who can't spell - the Americans pronounce it with a much longer 'u', which primarily makes an 'o' sound within American pronunciation. Mom is just in the modern world because someone liked their voice so much they needed to change the word. ;) And how do you feel about buried comments? :D
mike1921 0
Bitch, you're using proxies or some shit to manipulate the voting system. Now I don't have to hope you get banned sometime soon because you will :D
imajinethat 0
Mike FTW!!
Alteffor 0
I'm with you, Rasputia!
kk611 0
i agree with your original comment.
tpag3r 0
i dont know what the original comments were.. or what rasputia said because he/she seems to be banned or comments got modded out... but ima throw im my 2 cents work mike ftw!! all of your buried comments get one thumbs up =]
tpag3r 0
and its not very hard to get in extra votes to bury someones comments all you have to do is refresh the page then you should be able to vote again... flaws in fmls programing
fml328 0
wtf kevik.
DoomJeff91 2
I'm kinda hoping this comment gets buried. I'm feeling left out.
shostakovich 0
#42: Hey, Kervik, shut up.
Princesschronic 0
Um the op is a girl so it was probly lesbian ****.... Lesbians are also gay... He probly likes to watch 2 girls gettin down.. Who doesn't hah
mike1921 0
Dude, everyone looks at ****. Also, everyone does it and it's not hurting anyone. I call that pretty normal. Especially teens. Teens are hit by tons of hormones and are thus horny *****, we need to look at **** and fap so we don't do something retarded like have sex at our age...although some do both :P
Apocalyptus 0
#191, the question is, how is it not normal if most people do it?
romanrule 0
Your such an Idiot on so many levels, YOU FAIL!!!!!
StealthStorm67 0
Can you just ******* stop already? Half of the comments on this FML are from you, just trying to make conversation with people. Theres other sites for that.
mike1921 0
I can, but I won't. It's fun looking through comments for ones that piss me off or I think need to be clarified or need something.
SmileandWave 0
So you do just go through these FMLs picking fights with random people then? Perhaps you should be considerate of others who just find it plain annoying?
mike1921 0
Random? No, ones that piss me off. It's not random.
Than_fml 0
It's called the development phase.
MassachusettsBoy 0
Can everybody stop being so ignorant? This comment was supposedly written by a woman... Woman--GAY ****... It's like if men watched lesbian ****. S'good. And everyone here is gullible. Almost every FML is definitely fake.
Fentown_fml 4
Are you British, by any chance?
SmileandWave 0
Good guess. If you were actually talking to me yes I am.
NGM_47 0
BLACKMAIL your dad into buying you whatever you want :D
babbu18 0
lolz great minds think alike!! I do the same thing to my parents if I find out a secret or two;)
abylaunch 10
You should tell your mom she has the right to know. Do you want her to catch an STD?
Moemoemoe_fml 0
#4 wtf?? How is the mom going to get an STD because the dad reads gay fanfiction on the internet?? Get out of your intolerant cave a little. D:
JustCallMeCloud 0
STD = Sexually Transmitted Disease. There is no sex in watching ****, just good old masturbation.
caancoha 0
Wow, #4, ignorant much? It says nowhere that the dad was cheating on the mom. It only says he was reading fanfiction that involves male/male relationships. Maybe you should go to a class that specializes in tolerance.
doubleAbattery 0
It could have been Female/Female, too.That's why the mom got concerned that her daughter was looking at it. A lot of men love lesbian ****.
Princesschronic 0
Omgah that's what I've been tring to say!!! Thank you thank you
hilda_kitty 16
True, but nowadays, female/female **** is known as femslash (mostly on ffnet, but on livejournal as well).
Kiwi_Splash 0
Seriously? Your mom should be more aware of who else might be doing this. I don't think you should've admit. All you should've done was say that it wasn't you and you didn't search up anything, without mentioning your dad's name. Your mom will eventually get it.
velocraptor 0
Ouuuchhhh. Good on you though LOL
Anon17564 3
Above all else, you're a very very good person. It's hard enough for most people to help anybody out, even when they're being dishonest and you need to take the fall to cover them. I'm not sure whether you want to confront him over this. I'd say he owes you.
IMB916 0
Gay fanfiction ftw
Moemoemoe_fml 0
A woman who doesn't enjoys gay fanfiction is either a fat lie or you just signed up for FML listing the wrong gender by accident. XD
Shadow_Phantom 26
I do not enjoy gay fanfiction and I am a woman. Mostly because I haven't seen a single non-slash one. If it was two girls who were ACTUALLY lesbians, and if it didn't include ****, I'd read it. But no, all you find is that SasuNaru garbage written by 14 year old girls. Disgusting. Note: I usually reference guys as gay, girls as les. If you meant both genders eh, there has been a miscommunication. Also, there ARE people like my sisters who are overeligious and think gays are 'evil' and such. =P
plethora 3
You are not looking in the right places. There is plenty of good femmeslash out there.
DameGreyWulf 1
I don't read nor do I enjoy gay fanfiction. It is usually quite tasteless, poorly written, bland, and predictable. As someone who likes to write, I find it quite difficult to get off to. I go for the real deal and watch some actual ****. ... Not that I've been able to find tons of nice gay **** either... SO MANY RECIEVERS GOING FLACCID bagh... BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT OP, I must ask... WHY must you keep it a secret...?
junjouromantica 0
Fanfiction is lame, that's why you go for manga or anime. Maybe even drama CDs.
DameGreyWulf 1
Japanese comics and cartoons are pretty shitty too. Lol, Bible Black. Dear god...
Bonta_kun_fml 2
You know, I just searched for Bible Black... That's not normal anime, that's hentai.
12em12 1
Do you watch haruhi suzumiya??