Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after watching sexual explicit material on the family computer. FML
Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said, "You know, I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses." FML
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Top comments
NGM_47 0
BLACKMAIL your dad into buying you whatever you want :D
Orchid_fml 2
hahah , that was a lose situation no matter what . =/
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Comments (267)
nodbor 11
is your name Butters?
mike1921 0
You found it cute? The second I saw one of her comments I prayed to god she was gonna get ban.
SmileandWave 0
I think you'll find it's "banned" not "ban" in that context Mr anal pedantic grammar police doucheman
mike1921 0
I'm not a grammar nazi unless someone uses chat speak or spells like a second grader. Or makes every post of there's refer to fried chicken.
SmileandWave 0
That comment was to Mike's comment 228. Stupid reply system didn't work properly.
SmileandWave 0
That last comment was to Mike's comment 228. Stupid reply system didn't work properly -_-
kubagami 0
damn, that's ****** up
AkuRoku 0
I read gay fanfiction all the time :3 And my dad reads it too. We're just one big gay fanfiction loving family :D But FYL for having to cover something like that up.
Princesschronic 0
I only smoke weed actually. For 7 years of my life only weed. I stop doing drugs along tw ago. Oh I pay for. College thank u. Haha I didn't know if u smoke weed u were considered a druggy. Because a druggy is someone who will do anything to get high. So maybe u should stop being an ass. Really it's unapealing.
XRiseToFallAgain 0
Lolll, Mike. Being gay has never been proven to be due to genetics. Moron. Stop trying to act as if you know anything. And yeah, go through it. It's an adolescent phase which you seem to want to be stuck in for years to come.
SaintJimmy 0
So homosexuality is an adolescent phase? That's a knew one. For a while, I thought that people that were truly homosexual actually STAYED homosexual and never stopped being attracted to the same sex. Thanks for clearing that up. Where are you from? I'd like to write a complaint letter to the school board of where ever you were taught about how they should start hiring teachers who aren't completely ******* retarded.
mike1921 0
I'm not gay, at the very worst I'm bi because I've been attracted to girls, and an adolescent phase? You act like everyone is off having sex with people of their gender when they're teens. I know quite a few gay people over the age of 25. Yes, there are some teenage posers, but that doesn't mean none of the real thing exist.
JessieLoren 5
that really does stink.... :/