Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML
Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML
Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML
Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after watching sexual explicit material on the family computer. FML
Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said, "You know, I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses." FML
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Top comments
NGM_47 0
BLACKMAIL your dad into buying you whatever you want :D
Orchid_fml 2
hahah , that was a lose situation no matter what . =/
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Comments (267)
caancoha 0
46, I have known that I am a lesbian since I was born. My first kiss was with a girl in kindergarten, and I have never felt remotely attracted to a male in my life. Sure, I tried when I was 11 and the rest of the girls were. But it was not for me, and that peck on the lips was the most awkward moment ever. So you saying that someone can't know if they're a homosexual at 14? **** you. When did you know you were straight? It's not different at all, you dipshit. Get your head out of your ass and put some thought into what you say.
mike1921 0
And I'm glad you don't agree with me because you spell worse then my 10 year old sister.
Kervik 0
Whoa . . . Two immature people! You should date! :D Rasputia and Kels100 . . . Yes, that sounds good.
mike1921 0
Rasputia, I'd rather be a **** and unable to spell than a non-**** who spells like kels -_-
mike1921 0
I mean I'd rather be a **** and able to spell than a non **** who spells like kels...annoying editing system
lonelyboy23 0
Should have outed your dad. Make him face the truth of his life.
XRiseToFallAgain 0
You're a dumbfuck. You were obviously a cooped up child who never felt the need to express these feelings to your parents who could've TOLD you EVERY ******* PERSON IS CONFUSED AT ONE POINT. Instead, you decided to experiment by making out with girls and ended up telling yourself you're a lesbian , and have been since you were BORN. I'm sorry, but are that disillusioned? Why don't YOU get YOUR ass out of your head when you tell me you're one of the few that goes through it. Dipshit.
mike1921 0
Confused? Why are you so sure she's confused? I was never confused, I never thought I was gay. Yes, she could've been that way since she was born. It's called genetics. The few that goes through it? You make it sound like cancer or something -_-
Unlucky_Gun 0
With that 1st sentence and last word of your comment, I'm pretty sure your talking about yourself because mike never said he thought he was gay but you accused him of thinking it for no reason. Learn to read idiot
mike1921 0
Then I guess that makes you unable to spell :D .
SmileandWave 0
Then.. doesn't that make you a **** as well? You can't win this one. And there's nothing to be proud of about being and attention ***** idiot
uoykcuf 0
you guys are all gay