Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML
Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML
Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML
Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML
Today, my mom explained to me that looking up gay porn on the internet is bad. I didn't look up gay porn. The only other person who uses the laptop is my dad. I couldn't tell her the truth and had to pretend I enjoy gay fanfiction. FML
Today, my mom finally noticed the joke file I have on my PC desktop called "bigcocklovespussy.jpg". It's just a cute picture of a chicken snuggling with a cat. She didn't actually open the file and just deleted it. She won't believe my explanation and grounded me for a month for "looking at porn". FML
Today, my mom kicked my dad out of the house and told him not to come home again. Why? I started watching some porn on my computer, forgetting I was still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the living room. My mom thought it was my dad, and I didn't have the balls to admit the truth. FML
Today, I was taking a selfie. My grandma saw me, then after smirking to herself, she went and told my parents that I was "doing that sexting thing". They believed her and grounded me, even after I showed that all my photos and sent messages were totally innocent. FML
Today, I found out my mom has been randomly searching my room. I've asked her repeatedly to stop, but she says it's her right as a parent. In retaliation I started searching their room when they were out, and found porn mags and DVDs. I confronted mom about it. Long story short, dad's in a hotel. What have I done?! FML
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Top comments
le_miserable 5
Troll grandpa strikes again *troll face*
lexxiii 17
You said "on THAT computer." So you ARE guilty of watching ****.
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Comments (111)
le_miserable 5
Troll grandpa strikes again *troll face*
license2chill 5
Let the grandpa show how he deleted the history again in front of everybody, I'm not really buying that he knows how...
MDTeddy 13
Op's mom is ******* stupid. Her generation must be full of stupid people since Walmart seems to carry them as well.
brandicela 6
Loving the title of this FML
br00kr 22
Did you notice how he said "on THAT computer" :/
Octwo 16
It's a sad day when you get punished for watching ****. Bunch of prudes.
Sekkaichi 12
Thus why you watch **** with your iPod...like OP. (;
flaca273 7
Dummy his grandpa watched **** that's why he's complaining about it
jackiemora 18
I'm not a fan of **** but I don't even think someone should be scolded at by their mother, just embarrassed. Lol
Octwo 16
23, he was punished for watching ****, regardless of whether he did or not. Understand the comment before attempting to tell someone they're wrong.
gc327072 31
Posted in wrong thread. Move along now....
Zyzz7 12
Thats pretty pathetic she punished him for watching ****.. when are some parents gonna grow up
noobsatin 19
that's a funny grandpa. he knows how to joke around.
bbozic2 6
Looks like gramps is trying to cover his tracks .
Pyapi 20
Obviously it wasn't you. You're not technologically challenged - you would have deleted your history or gone incognito!
gc327072 31
Private browsing FTW!
CareFace 16
Ctrl+Shift+Delete, last 2 hours... Good bye evidence.
ethereal1 6
2 hours is a decent session, I usually only need 10 minutes :)
xXNerrrdXx 16
Op's name : Thats what my ipod is for
empbob 20
"Son, I know you've been on your laptop got hours, please explain this 2 hr gap in the browser history..." "I was watching **** mom." "Oh, anything good?" "Sure, wanna see?" Awkward moments ahead showing mom where to get good ****.... Lol
ironichalibut 24
Your grandpa probably used your computer to look up ****, then got scared when he realized he didn't know how computers fully work, so blamed you in the event that it comes up somehow.
Pyapi 20
This is most likely the case. Whenever my grandpa uses my computer, he not only litters my browser history with **** but also my hard disk. I don't think he even realizes that I can see all the dirty things he saw before...
tjv3 10
Ouch he must not like you
lexxiii 17
You said "on THAT computer." So you ARE guilty of watching ****.
chelseaaababyyy 17
That's what his Ipod is for.
Blackcatluck 19
I can speak for the whole male population +12 to say that we all are guilty....no one is safe.
EVnIAS 13
hey your making all males looks bad! we don't all watch **** most do but not all! I have a really creative imagination I don't need to look up **** to have a nice time!
aardvarkish 17
My thoughts exactly!! (THAT computer)
MrConcise 35
@30 My friend says that too. My retort is "I could do the same, but I just want to finish fast. Viola, a machine full of people who get paid to make sex look good!"
timss4 19
Saying GUILTY implies it's a bad thing lol
iluvpeanutbutter 22
I assume you mean Voila! and not viola. Though with all the weird fetishes out there, I'm sure there are people who get off on stringed instruments.
stevothedevo 25
Op doesn't use a computer for ****.. His user name says his iPod is for that.
Wiag 8
that's what I was going to say! lol
Daesh_fml 9
I call bs!
RensM 22
Getting grounded for watching ****? That is just stupid, **** in a part of growing up, it is a curiosity that needs to be filled. Not allowing that only creates repressed perverts that need to find other ways to feed the curiosity not all of which will be as innocent as watching ****.
s15c 9
Remembering this so I can tell it to myself later.
Habu987 9
Umm, not quite. You do realize that internet **** (let alone widespread, easy access to **** of any kind) is a relatively recent development, right?
sig4life 18
#74 Skin-a-max has been around for over 30 years, even before the Internet. You used to just stay up to 12 to get ****. Although soft core which was good enough for a young teenager.
wjh100 13
if its part of growing up why do you need to be 18 to buy it?
speedyw03 6
How could she believe that? He just deleted the only evidence before showing her. FYL, OP.…
red_headforlife 15
He definitely just wants it all to himself!