Today, I told my friends that I have haphephobia, the fear of being touched. One of them said, "Why don't you try facing your fears?" and they all held me down and tickled me until they realized my pleas for them to stop were actually genuine when I stopped laughing and started crying… which took several minutes. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my family and friends have absolutely refused to comprehend that I hate being touched. They think it's because of how unbearably ticklish I am, and they call me a "Drama Queen" for it. I suffer from haphephobia. We live in a society where people who have very real phobias are referred to as "overdramatic." FML
Today, my "friends" who know very well that I am terrified of bees forced me to face my fears, despite my protesting. As my "friends" watched and laughed while I tried to keep calm, a wasp showed up and scared me half to death, thereby angering the other bees. My face looked like a giant raspberry after the fact. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend about my foot phobia. To help me "get over it", he took his socks off, pinned me down, and rubbed his foot against my face until I started sobbing. FML
Today, my friends sat me down and said they were concerned I was self-harming. I don't self-harm, I'm just a massive klutz. They don't believe me, and want me to get professional help. And now, because I found it all so funny, they think I'm mentally unhinged. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend and I told him that I was going to tickle him, to which he responded me how he’d “crack” me in the head so that I’d never even think about tickling him again. It threw me into a panic attack and people laughed. I’m a survivor of domestic violence. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I found out that if I'm tickled it causes me to have a panic attack until I cry. FML
Today, I was dared to stand and hold a sign saying, "Free Hugs." This girl I'd never seen before gave me a crushing hug and cried hysterically on my shoulder in the blazing afternoon sun. I couldn't get her off. FML
Today, I mistook a coworker’s laughter for choking and performed the Heimlich maneuver on them in the break room. They weren’t choking, but now they’re afraid to laugh near me. FML
Today, after weeks of therapy for severe depression, my therapist thought it would be helpful to confess my deepest problems to my friends, to prove that it was alright to trust people. I did. They laughed. Hard. FML
Today, I wanted to show my friends my cat’s “high-five” trick. I held out my hand, and instead of a high-five, my cat scratched and bit me instead. I yelped, and my friends burst into laughter. I had to bandage my hand, all whilst they joked about “cat training.” FML
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Top comments
Marcella1016 32
That’s so ****** up I’m sorry, man :(
TeaTimeAbyss 22
Username checks out, you definitely need new friends. Sorry, OP.
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
Tickle Monster is real!
mattiagardin 15
Woah being 6 must be hard
TeaTimeAbyss 22
Username checks out, you definitely need new friends. Sorry, OP.
delicious 7
Exposure therapy is quite valid
Charlie Given 28
Exposure therapy only works when it's done over a long time and at tiny increments of exposure.
RichardPencil 32
That's what I keep telling the pretty ladies at the park, but they still call me a "flasher" or "pervert." Ingrates! They're getting free "exposure therapy."
Anderling 33
Exposure therapy happens with the person’s consent, administered by a trained medical professional, and small steps and periods of time to build it up. You will note that forcibly holding down your friend for several minutes until they’re left sobbing is none of those things.
Marcella1016 32
That’s so ****** up I’m sorry, man :(