Today, I attended a white elephant party at work and the box I picked had whisky and beer. Since I am a Muslim, I took it to my Christian friend's house and gave it to him. As I was walking there, I passed my imam on the street. Awkward. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to a work party where we had a Secret Santa. I gave a nice set of beer bottles with glasses. When my name was called I naturally picked the biggest gift. I got groceries. I now have dog food and men's body spray. I don't have a boyfriend or a dog. FML
Today, I went to buy beer underage for a party to impress a girl. I picked up the case of beer and went to the cashier, he ran it through without asking for ID. I left the store with a smirk on my face, I arrived at the party and showed the case to the girl. It was non-alcoholic. FML
Today, I attended a party, thinking it was hosted by my friend. I showed up, mingled, had some drinks, and even played a couple of games. After about an hour, my friend called me and asked where I was. I'd crashed the wrong party. Everyone there was nice about it, but now I can never show my face there again. FML
Today, for our Christmas gift exchange, we were supposed to all bring alcohol. I got a Crown Royal Apple box with a couple of positive pregnancy tests. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store to stock up on booze for the weekend. After the cashier commented on the size my purchase, I claimed to be hosting a dinner party tonight. I'm not. FML
Today, we did a Secret Santa at work and instead of buying cringe romance novels and candy for this other girl, I bought her a fantasy novel and a bag of dried mangos. When I went to leave for the day, I found both of my thoughtful gifts in the trash can. FML
Today, I found out that the neighbor I'd given a bottle of wine to for Christmas is a recovering alcoholic. FML
Today, at the office, everyone in my department swapped secret santa presents. I bought the guy whose name I picked a DVD box-set of his favorite TV series. One of my friends got a fancy make up kit. Another got a pack of posh notebooks. I got a toilet plunger. FML
Today, I got drunk until morning at a college friend's apartment with bunch of strangers. Some officials came in due to the noise and I tried to scare them away by pretending to sing a latin song of worship I made up, thinking they'd respect the gathering if it was a religious one. FML
Today, my coworkers had a Thanksgiving party, but it was Christians only, so I wasn't invited. I'm an expat, and I don't know any other Americans here. I was lonely, so I invited a non-American friend out to dinner. She said she couldn't go because she was invited to a Thanksgiving party. I spent the evening alone. FML
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Top comments
LikesRedLollis 19
Well, I mean, if they ask you, you could always explain. I'm sure they wouldn't mind.
whatshuman43 8
Well the point of a white elephant gift is to be useless and hard to get rid of, so whoever bought that had much more success than they intended
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Comments (17)
RichardPencil 32
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
That doesn't sound kosher.
claudiajean 24
It's Halal for Muslims
trollcrusher 17
We're so used to genuine stupidity these days, apparently it's hard to notice when somebody is obviously pretending.
haitianempress 0
Wrong religion.
Marjo86 29
come on guys, this is obviously a joke :)
NereidAlbel 14
Nope, alcohol is perfectly fine for Muslims, unless you translate "do not drink this one specific wine" as "no alcohol ever."
kfchicken 31
it's debated but let people worship whatever they want however they see fit as long as they're not hurting anyone
LikesRedLollis 19
Well, I mean, if they ask you, you could always explain. I'm sure they wouldn't mind.
ah65466 6
That's because your don't know much about Islam. I think that what she did would still be considered wrong. I'm a Muslim btw.
gordjess1 19
I had to google what a white elephant party was. It seems to fit well something that costs a bit but if fairly useless. Unless I'm googling the wrong thing?
Tripartita 45
It's basically Yankee Gift Swap. Which might send you googling again, come to think of it.
evilplatypus 39
Basically everyone brings a gift of a certain value for no one in particular, it all gets placed in a pile, and people pick gifts at random not knowing what they'll receive.
whatshuman43 8
Well the point of a white elephant gift is to be useless and hard to get rid of, so whoever bought that had much more success than they intended
tounces7 28
Wouldn't it have been the exact opposite if anyone else had gotten it though?
ezrocks4u 29
Which is why it makes this FML so hilarious :D
elsie23 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If you are Muslim it's Haram for you to buy alcohol
angeluscado 15
OP didn't buy the alcohol, she received it as part of a random gift exchange at work.
Tripartita 45
I imagine some Muslims wouldn't be too thrilled about a woman in public without a burqa, but different sects of different religions choose to acknowledge different parts of their doctrines.
ah65466 6
Dude what?
vampire9545 5
eyyy haram for you, halal for lou
YeahImAnOutkast 1
Wtf is an imam?
bretzeller 13
An Islamic priest equivalent.
OysterPearls 33
Google is a wonderful thing. You should try it!
atradr 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ah yes, I for one believe we should all become 100% dependent on Google. Unsure of your partner's favorite restaurant? Google it. At dinner with your family? Google what they've been up to. Cute girl across the room? Google image search her. Why ever develop a relevant discussion by interacting with new people when you can just Google it?
OysterPearls 33
Thanks for that, Aldous Huxley. Just saying, if its such a "wtf"-worthy word, its pretty easy to figure out.
vegantreegirl 26
Did you explain to him? That's sweet of you to regift it though. :)
ClassyTuxCat 4
Could have been worse. Your friend could have been Mormon. We don't drink either.
DamnGina 3
I'll take it!