Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I came home to my wife asleep in bed, her pants down, and her vibrator in her hand. She keeps refusing sex because she "isn't in the mood" and insists there's nothing wrong. To rub salt in the wound, I bought her the vibrator as a gift, hoping to spice things up. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend teased me by asking if I wanted to fuck her best friend in the ass. Obviously it was a joke, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I know it will never happen. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML
Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
UH60 26
Are you by chance the same guy that 'accidentally' slipped into the wrong hole yesterday?
Steve95401 49
Make sure to sleep on your back or on your side facing her. Also, be careful about bending over in the shower to pick up your soap off the floor.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (234)
ItalianGuy23 6
prison rules apperently
gabagabaheyu 10
why is she so turned on by trying to rape your ass?
Ih8teenageangst 20
I know what you did. You deserve it.
messymessiah 11
Lol. Have you ever tried to convince her to have anal sex? Sounds like she's getting you back for something
PrincessPan 17
Um, that rape.
JoseTheSmexican 11
Well now we know who it was that slipped in the wrong hole
Blonde02_fml 9
Hahah she sounds different
PsychicBulwark 4
I hope you're joking. Otherwise bad news your girlfriend is a rapist & a psychopath. literally.
ceelos97 16
Pretty sure thats is considered rape!
xcllla_ 27
Put a butt plug so she won't enter.