Today, my girlfriend teased me by asking if I wanted to fuck her best friend in the ass. Obviously it was a joke, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I know it will never happen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML
Today, my girlfriend's best friend started coming on to me. I was appalled, and told her she was a terrible friend. My girlfriend jumped out of nowhere and started crying. Apparently, her kink is watching her best friend and boyfriend fuck, and she's now mad I didn't go for it. What the fuck? FML
Today, my girlfriend and her best friend came home after a long night. They both hopped into the bed and were very insistent that I join them. I said I felt weird about it and slept on the couch. The next morning, my pissed off girlfriend said that they wanted a threesome but I killed the mood. Fuck, I'm an idiot. FML
Today, after assuring my best friend that his girlfriend would never cheat on him, I came home to my brother having loud sex with my best friend's girlfriend. FML
Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML
Today, I had to have a very difficult and awkward conversation with my best friend about her fiancé hitting on me. She seemed completely unfazed and ended up admitting that a three-way with me was actually her idea, but she didn't want to "weird me out" by asking me about it. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML
Today, I started coming on to my girlfriend, only to get a nasty rejection. I told her I would just go jerk off, to which she replied, "Don't you dare!" FML
Today, my fiancée asked for a threesome. I don't want it. I think I'm now single. FML
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Top comments
Ubehage 32
Just look into her eyes and say "Don't ask questions to which you do not want to hear the honest answer".
cuz803 46
Pls don't cheat. Scream it was an intrusive thought and pay more attention to your partner's ass instead. Say to yourself you hate butt sex or something.
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Comments (6)
cuz803 46
Pls don't cheat. Scream it was an intrusive thought and pay more attention to your partner's ass instead. Say to yourself you hate butt sex or something.
RichardPencil 32
Why not? There's always alcohol to blame.
Ubehage 32
Just look into her eyes and say "Don't ask questions to which you do not want to hear the honest answer".
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
*Obviously it was a joke* - Or an invitation for a threesome which you ****** up.
Hangryko 32
Get over yourself.
thecumcactus 3
Just tell her, the only way anything good can come is if you tell her. If she says yes for a 3some then do it but if no then just say you’d rather not keep it as a secret