Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML
Today, I had to supervise my 9 year-old nephew taking a shower, because he won't wash with soap or shampoo unless someone makes him. Instead, he blows three-inch-long green and brown boogers out of his nose that dangle from his nostril. He's disgusting and hasn't even hit puberty yet. This is future of the world. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom after my 9 year-old nephew. Apparently nobody taught him to lift the seat when he pees, or how to aim properly, because when I sat down, I sat in his pee. FML
Today, I taught my 12-year-old brothers that showering cannot be used as a substitute for deodorant, and that they should use both. One of them was almost in tears. FML
Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML
Today, I had to teach my 16-year-old brother how to use a toaster. He thought you just plug it in and wait for it to "pre-heat." FML
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, my brother learned how to fake cry. I've been catching shit for everything I've done and said near him ever since. FML
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML
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Top comments
grumpybr 13
Parents not doing a good job uh?
cuppycakeslove 20
Why haven't your parents taught him?
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Comments (115)
grumpybr 13
Parents not doing a good job uh?
UnluckyGenius 21
Don't blame the parents, when I was nine I was barely strong enough to lift a carton of milk, much less pour it myself.
TheGreatPotato 19
#32 Isn't that just because you're Spongebob?
UnluckyGenius 21
#34 I am offended by your comment, I can bench four giant teddy bears now!
grumpybr 13
Oh give me a break #32. Kids nowadays are capable of a lot more than pouring milk by the time they are 9 years old. Besides, basic hygiene?? Yeah, once you pass 6 years old, thats a must.
missmonkie 16
you were weak then because I was 6 when I poured myself a glass of milk
UnluckyGenius 21
It is a boy unless you are fanatical about hygiene it is near impossible to keep them clean.
UnluckyGenius 21
#49 I am aware I was weak, thanks for pointing that out. Having a little sister who could lift me up and carry me certainly didn't inform me of that fact when I was younger.
addie19 6
Yep, really weak. My son could bring me the gallon of milk(by dragging it across the floor) when he was 2. He has been able to pour it since he was 4.
UnluckyGenius 21
Thanks everyone who commented the obvious; you are certainly not piling on to a ******* emotional issue that has been built up since I was 4 and watched everyone around develop physically at twice or three times the speed I did. I am sorry I didn't develop any sort of strength until I was 11 and hit puberty. **** you all.
Judahsh 8
time to teach him...
iammeorami 25
Op's parents should have taught his brother.
SuperDanielNL 23
But since they don't I guess OP has to lend a hand or talk with his parents about this. I am no scientist nor a doctor but this isn't normal or healthy behavior.
cuppycakeslove 20
Why haven't your parents taught him?
iluvpeanutbutter 22
When I was 20, I had to show one of my flatmates how to make a cup of tea. I literally wrote out instructions for her, because her mum had always made tea for her. I also had to show my other flatmate how to use a washing machine. Both of them were exchange students from the US. This sort of thing is why Americans have a bad name.
iluvpeanutbutter 22
Sorry, just re-read my post and realised it might come across like I'm criticising Americans. I'm not; anyone could be in the position where they haven't been taught things, but by the time you're 20, you should know how to do basic things like that.
Trish01 23
I don't see what's the big deal about not knowing how to make tea. I certainly wouldn't compare it to the FML.
iluvpeanutbutter 22
Surely knowing that you put a teabag in hot water and let it steep is common knowledge?
emilyjgraham 34
57, pouring milk is easier than making tea. Saying that making tea isn't hard...
friedpwnadge 25
When he realizes he can't get laid he'll shape up very quickly.
gameofthrones_fml 12
He's 9. This won't be a worry of his for a while...hopefully.
friedpwnadge 25
I was speaking in future tense, but the morals of this society never cease to amaze me.
JoshuahColins 19
Look who's talking...
MyNameIsViet 15
9, apply cold water to the BURN.
xKeroseneHearts 9
#9: I read all of your comments in a Zoidberg voice xD
Athleticism 11
I don't remember learning this. I just learned by watching.
Athleticism 11
I just realized the stupidity I displayed in my last comment. I stated that I didn't learn it, then I stated how I learned. What I meant was that nobody taught me how to pour milk. I apologize.
hallix 21
I think it's time to move out, and possibly call child services. Good lord, your patents don't sound very equipped for children!
ItsAnanya 25
*reads comment* I bet Hallix is from The USA! *check profile* Damn right.
Weika 5
What does being from the USA have to do with a child not being able to properly take care of themselves?
hallix 21
I don't even understand your logic. What are you attempting to say? If there's a point to your comment, please, share it. And I do realize that I made a typo, my apologies. *parents
Blue_Black_fml 21
It seems #11 thinks that only in the US people can move out and call child services..
cathyfang1533 12
According to 11, she is currently under my bed. I would like to point out that my bed is on the ground, therefore there is no 'under' so enjoy being SQUISHED 11! Mwahahaha! Okay, carry on.
jarrettd 27
Unfit parents come from all around the world #11.
assassinbanana0 20
Just because a child acts spoiled doesn't mean it's the parents fault. For all you know, they do try teaching him, but he just ceases to follow with it. OP sounds like a good person, who shares the same parents as the little brother. So because there is one rotten seed in the family, the parents are to blame??
pnutbutternjelly 15
Dude, the kid can't pour his own milk. There is no fliping way you can remotely remove blame from the parents for something as simple as that. If he is so spoiled that his parents have never once made him pour his own milk then that's poor parenting.
Trish01 23
It also sounds like the kid is dumb. Does one really need to be taught how to lift a carton of milk and tilt it?
ItsAnanya 25
Well...I realised how disrespectful my comment came out. #7 said that OP should move out and call child services. Why? Because a child can't pour his own milk? That's no grounds for someone to move out and call child services on the parents. From what I have experienced, most of my American friends say stuff like this to every thing. Someone punches you ? Sue them ! A teacher have you homework which is 32 pages long? "You can sue them for giving you that much work" My mom hit me? "That's child abuse!" Then again this is my personal experience so I would like to apologise for my generalisation of Americans for that.
twinkiefeets 17
60--I'm American and I have never sued anyone, either has any of my friends or family. Your generalizations are rude and ignorant, if I were you I would keep them to myself.
Lasagnaa 24
#64 That cake looks delicious
rfid_fml 13
Your "American" friends sound like idiots, or, in the least, people who have never actually had anything happen to them in life.
Athleticism 11
That would be very great if I could sue my teacher for giving me a large amount of homework. Unfortunately, that is not the case.
hallix 21
#60 I actually have never used the phrase in my life before up until this point. And I do admit, I did jump to a very rash conclusion that the parents were neglectful, seeing as it's been nine years and the child still can't pour his own cow juice. Nonetheless,
hallix 21
51 has a point. Both the parents and the child are at fault to a certain degree. Good luck, OP - you can't choose your family!
eksyneet 23
well, kudos to kid's parents.
cottoncandymango 17
Where are your parents...?
twinkiefeets 17
It's time your parents stop treating him like a baby and start teaching him to care for himself.
jamnglamgirlie 17
Where are your parents?!