Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I came home to my wife asleep in bed, her pants down, and her vibrator in her hand. She keeps refusing sex because she "isn't in the mood" and insists there's nothing wrong. To rub salt in the wound, I bought her the vibrator as a gift, hoping to spice things up. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend teased me by asking if I wanted to fuck her best friend in the ass. Obviously it was a joke, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I know it will never happen. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML
Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML
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Top comments
UH60 26
Are you by chance the same guy that 'accidentally' slipped into the wrong hole yesterday?
Steve95401 49
Make sure to sleep on your back or on your side facing her. Also, be careful about bending over in the shower to pick up your soap off the floor.
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Comments (234)
trucker2 33
Sounds like table got turned, Lol
kingoftheawkward 5
And you haven't left because....?
cutierawrz 14
Well I always tell my boyfriend he can anal me if I can do it back
tianaolley 12
I'm pretty sure if she goes through with it it's rape…
LyricaSilvan 30
That is so many kinds of not okay.
EvilLittleMan 23
Are you going to say C Ya if she doesn't K Ya ?
Drnavid 13
it should be the other way around OP haha
corky1992 33
Wtf..
mezochan 29
Don't even blink.
worldclassrager 41
I sure hope you are a light sleeper...and or you sleep on your back...hide the ***** if needed...