Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I came home to my wife asleep in bed, her pants down, and her vibrator in her hand. She keeps refusing sex because she "isn't in the mood" and insists there's nothing wrong. To rub salt in the wound, I bought her the vibrator as a gift, hoping to spice things up. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend teased me by asking if I wanted to fuck her best friend in the ass. Obviously it was a joke, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I know it will never happen. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML
Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML
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Top comments
UH60 26
Are you by chance the same guy that 'accidentally' slipped into the wrong hole yesterday?
Steve95401 49
Make sure to sleep on your back or on your side facing her. Also, be careful about bending over in the shower to pick up your soap off the floor.
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Comments (234)
Akay4 14
Pretty sure that would be rape.
IndefiniteBeauty 17
If she does that's rape and I'm sure she doesn't want to be a rapist
interesting33 37
Maybe, maybe not, still is a threat of rape, still would be rape if she does it.
boultzboi 20
you never know, you may enjoy it
Treaton 5
that actually made me lol
clumsyninja13 21
Don't drop the soap!(:
Starlight1029 18
Ok, we NEED a follow up on this...
allred1997 19
Anyone else want a follow up?
trucker2 33
So....how was your night.!
lexiale 10
does she seriously think you won't notice something going up your ass in the middle of the night
NineeCat 32
Sleep with one eye open, squeezin your butt cheeks tight. Exit light *guitar riff*