Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep during sex. This isn't the first time. FML
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, for the third time this week, I came home to my wife asleep in bed, her pants down, and her vibrator in her hand. She keeps refusing sex because she "isn't in the mood" and insists there's nothing wrong. To rub salt in the wound, I bought her the vibrator as a gift, hoping to spice things up. FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend teased me by asking if I wanted to fuck her best friend in the ass. Obviously it was a joke, but now I can't stop thinking about it and I know it will never happen. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, and I really started getting into it. I said, "Hang on tight, this is gonna get intense." She replied, "Doubt it" and yawned. FML
Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
UH60 26
Are you by chance the same guy that 'accidentally' slipped into the wrong hole yesterday?
Steve95401 49
Make sure to sleep on your back or on your side facing her. Also, be careful about bending over in the shower to pick up your soap off the floor.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (234)
upsetpastry 10
Take one for the team
TDKopecki 16
uhhhh wtf
captainsmegma 12
Pre-lube your asshole generously, you know what's coming your way.
fordneagles 34
My ex-boyfriend pressured me for ages to consent to anal, I just kept saying no and he kept asking. So one day I threatened to shove a ***** up his arse. He went white as a sheet, never asked again.
75elks 14
just run
BrassWing13 11
I understand why you'd be uncomfortable, but as long as it isn't some monster sized *****, prostate stimulation isn't as bad as you'd think
9a_1z 12
I imagine prostate stimulation when you're not a ready and willing participant isn't all that great though. If she really wanted to please him that way she wouldn't be pushing him into it (if that's what she's doing).
gilligan_isle 6
That's rape. Even if she was "joking" I say leave her and don't look back
wassup388 25
Seems to me that someone needs to have a little talk...
Adamjohn82 19
Just back away quickly. Remain facing her at all times
whatarethisss 23
Surprise buttsex!!!!