Today, I walked outside to find someone had egged my house and smashed a pumpkin onto my car. I later discovered that the perpetrator was my own 8 year old son. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the car shop called me and told me an 8 year-old boy stole my car and wrecked it. FML
Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML
Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML
Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML
Today, my son thought he'd take my new car for a drive without permission. He accelerated straight into a tree, reversed into a lamppost and then accelerated again into the neighbours car. FML
Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my mom over the chores, and stormed out. When I returned later, I found the house had been egged. My mom told my dad she saw me do it, and he won't believe my side of the story. He says I'll be lucky if I see sunlight this summer. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my house egged, and bricks thrown through my windows. I called the police, and submitted a report. Later that night, I heard the doorbell ring. Nobody was at the house, but there was a note saying "Sorry, wrong house". FML
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Top comments
drippingfaucet 0
smart kid
ugh_a_lug 7
he could lift a pumpkin onto your car?
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Comments (199)
drippingfaucet 0
smart kid
austinkarimi 0
Wee-woo-wee-woo-wee-woo.
KiddNYC1O 22
Wee-woo-wee-woo-wee-woo.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Wee-woo-wee-woo-wee-woo.
kfrizzle2 4
If I comment here, will my comment get changed to wee-woo's?
KiddNYC1O 22
Sirin, that was such a buzzkill...
Sirin_fml 47
No. You must not want it, or the fun disappears. Which is also my philosophy on sex.
MrNewOrleans 0
O #28 I see what u did there
Selena_is_back 7
Wee-woo-wee-woo-wee-woo.
katplayer 4
Wee-woo-wee-woo-wee-woo.
Joppa 0
Perfect halloween car for daddy.
jazmixer 0
smart kid. it's not a crime to deface your own property. And wee-ooo-wee-ooo-wee
junkboy 4
Wee-woo-wee-woo-wee-woo.
KingDingALing 9
This whole time, I thought that people were wee woo-ing on purpose... :/
Selena_is_back 7
95, If you don't wee-woo, you'll be moderated like 56. P.S. wee-woo-wee-woo-wee-woo.
KingDingALing 9
Uh-oh..I better wee woo! Wee woo wee woo wee woo! I did it! :D
zp5 4
haha your 8 year old is awesome. what? did i forget something? oh. wee-woo-wee-woo-wee-woo. is that better? no? why you son of a-*blacks out* wee-woo-wee-woo-wee-woo.
pcakewafflebacon 0
kaysl's a bitch! I mean wee woo
Selena_is_back 7
why you son of a bi- *crash*! wee-woo-wee-woo-wee-woo
Occums_Razor 0
I get it! Sirin. Siren. Wee woo. Siren. Wee woo wee woo wee woo.
zp5 4
i think 115 saw what i did there
Selena_is_back 7
120, I did. :)
Joppa 0
I wonder why mine got moderated. I only said "what a perfect car for daddy". Selena, you could be right. :D
Selena_is_back 7
123, hurry! say wee-woo!!!! P.S. wee-woo-wee-woo-wee-woo!
zp5 4
129 who can?
KiddNYC1O 22
Maxwell!... you're home. ::cross fingers::
Joppa 0
wee-woo-wee-woo-wee-woo
Joppa 0
We'll see if 129 got moderated too. :D wee-woo-wee-woo-wee-woo
Selena_is_back 7
135, sure hope so. :)
Selena_is_back 7
... I'm all out of magic. boo-hoo...
Selena_is_back 7
Oh, and besides, it wasn't me who started the wee-woo-wee-woo-wee-woo thing. :P
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Well slap my ass and call me Sally! I do say, I'm quite the waffle when it comes to this here business. I much prefer to mount my here donkey Verna. WEE WOO **** you.
fakeaccountX 6
Wee-woo-wee-woo-wee---- C-C-C-C-Combo breaker.
OrginalOwen 0
woo-wee-woo-wee-wooahh-what??
jewban 3
wee woo?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
i must say, I love what y'all have done with the place!
Fred_Fred_Burger 0
dude whatever five year old is making us say wee woo piss off. get a life.
yuggi1 11
WEE- my eyes are burning- WOO- I think I'm having a brain hemorrhage. x_x
stephanie0613 0
Omg, you got a smart 8 year old kid :) aggghhhhh, cannnnnt help but, wee-woo-wee-woo-wee-woo.
mitchn60 6
Sirin just had a birthday! congrats!
alex1432 9
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
InDenial 6
WTF is going on here?
GooeyChickenman 0
I don't get it
drippingfaucet 0
wtf is with all the wee-who-wee crap I'm seriously going to moderate all these stupid comments!
shurayuki 0
poor you :(
ell_oh_ell 0
ya I agree poor you, I wonder what he's gonna do next year?!
sloppy3301 3
no . the kid probably goes to his house eggs it and says "fk u little asshole" to himself :D
Kaiden2554 3
I guess the trick (puts on sunglasses) was on him. YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!11
walkmywaynot 0
Did you not buy him something or was this a triple dog dare?
lemoncows 2
you just have to do it if its a TRIPLE dogger
walkmywaynot 0
Yeah thats my point
ugh_a_lug 7
he could lift a pumpkin onto your car?
Lizza330 28
How did an 8 year old smash a pumpkin?
KiddNYC1O 22
oh, I don't know, by throwing it?
Selena_is_back 7
lol^^
mitchie11 0
lol Apparently you've never been around an 8 yr old boy..
Lizza330 28
No, acctually. I wouldn't have thought an 8 year old would be strong enough to throw a pumpkin. Well assuming it's a normal sized pumpkin.
tmmundy 17
really? did u really ask that?
SpunkyyyMonkeyy 10
She has a point so stfu. I don't think I know a single 8 year old that can lift a pumpkin over their head.
kfrizzle2 4
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! =D
Hannerzzz 0
keep an eye on him...
yuggi1 11
OP's fault for getting his mate pregnant.
Hannerzzz 0
yeah totally, he deserves it for having a child.
yuggi1 11
xD you know I was just kidding. It really sucks having a kid like though... (not that I would know) ._.
yuggi1 11
that* I'm getting clumsy.
Xavi89 0
lol!!! sounds like a great kid to me.
jcortez1594 0
Better him getting it out on his own house than on a neighbors and then having them sue you for damages, right?