Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said, "Sorry, I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying how I hated my job, I felt trapped, and that I was wasting my time working there. A few minutes later, she answered, "That's how I feel about our relationship." FML
Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML
Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long heartfelt loving message for our 2-year anniversary. Her reply was just "K." FML
Today, I texted my girlfriend a long, heartfelt message this morning. Her response? "What do you need? Or is this even really you?" FML
Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML
Today, my girlfriend of ten months sent me a picture message of her making out with a guy. Under it, it read, "You can pick your stuff up in the morning." FML
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Top comments
ycrem0n 21
Proof that guys aren't always the animals starving for sex
dominic1221 6
You're an illiterate moron, aren't you? Maybe you should spend less time jacking off in English class, kid.
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Comments (175)
liv2laugh721 0
Man up and f*ck her
gary8082 14
She should have texted back "Oops sorry! Wrong number!"
twisted_cherub 14
Maybe it's OPs girlfriend who is different. When my boyfriend and I first got together I wanted sex all the time (mostly due to self-esteem issues left by my ex). He finally had to tell me he'd just like to talk sometimes. A month into dating he didn't know anything about me except what I liked in bed, not even my last name. I pushed the sex issue too much when he wanted a real relationship.
JadeWalker 14
YDI
Becca_BooP 8
There's one problem with that... He said they've been together 2 years.
twisted_cherub 14
I know, but maybe it's been a recent thing for them. Maybe she's just horny a lot lately, or feeling insecure about something (like gaining a couple pounds or job stress). I'm just saying that maybe her focus has been physical and he'd like to sway her back to the full relationship.
Pancakemines 0
Well I guess you're still getting your wish no matter what you do.
WoolyWhoop 7
Go along with it, at the end of the day, sex is better than tossing off. Which could be your future should you say stuff like that again.
OffToTheGayBar 9
It's hilarious, most of you would be saying dump his ass if the roles were reversed.
immaMonsta 8
Actually, I wouldn't. Just because my boyfriend wants sex all the time doesn't mean I'd dump it (hypothetically). It just means that he wouldn't get it every single time he wanted it. However, my boyfriend usually doesn't get turned down anyway since my sex drive is higher than his haha.
FMLsOhilarious 6
#42 If you want more sex than your boyfriend, then you're a ****.
wlddog 14
Really 48? That's the ONLY possible conclusion you could come up with???
Crazberry 5
#48 Hope you enjoy being single and sex-free for the rest of your miserable life :)
laden_swallow09 35
No, 48. If she really WERE a ****, she'd be giving it to anything and everything that has a penis. So far (as the FML reveals) she hasn't cheated on OP; she's still monogamous. Get your facts straight. Until then, it'll only make you look like a holier-than-thou, prudish zealot who wouldn't know what a healthy relationship looked like if it smacked you in the face.
immaMonsta 8
fmlsohilarious - lol, really? So because I'm in a serious committed relationship with ONE person and I sometimes want more sex than he does makes me a ****? Whatever. Your logic is seriously screwed up. Stop being a troll.
EwahWeeWah 21
This is one of those situations where I have to actually agree with a comment like this, it's true.
wellinever 5
If all she wants is a **** buddy, then take it while you look for a girlfriend who suits you better.
curlygirly1 8
That's so sweet :) (what u said)
immaMonsta 8
I'm in a relationship where I would prefer more sex than my boyfriend does (not much, just 2-3 times a day; we only see each other on the weekends most of the time since we're both working full time and attending college), but I respect the fact that he just wants to spend time together and cuddle sometimes. Of course I don't mind that either, but it doesn't sound like your girlfriend respects you if she responds like that. Maybe try and talk with her and tell her that you aren't the stereotype that people make men out to be. In fact, women can carry that stereotype as well.
HarpoKeane 13
Don't talk with her, put her over your knee and tell her she's naughty for doing that lol
MissHayleyJames 7
"Not much, just 2-3 times a day" Seriously? That's not much? What are you a rabbit or just new in your relationship still? "Not much" good Lord. 5 times a week would be a lot for me and my husband, let alone 2-3 times a day. Maybe we just have more important things to do.
jaff23 11
Some people have such a narrow and archaic definition of masculinity. I think you're really sweet, OP!