Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend's friend told her she had seen me shopping with a cute girl. When I came back home, my girlfriend punched me in the face and asked who the girl was. Apparently her friend didn't tell her the "cute girl" was my three year-old niece. I lost a tooth from the punch. FML
Today, my boyfriend's little sister told me she hates me. I thought she was just a jealous, whiny nitwit like most kids are, until she calmly walked over to the wall and headbutted it hard. She burst into tears, ran out of the room, and told my boyfriend I hit her. He believed her. FML
Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML
Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML
Today, I found out my that my girlfriend's parents hate me, all because they saw me laughing and hanging out with another girl. That other girl was my sister. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Today, my friend called to say my boyfriend was at a diner with another woman. I immediately went and caught them in a deep conversation. I slapped him and yelled "Who's this bitch!?" It turns out she's his half sister. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
daner10 5
Who's the stupid bitch now?
RedSnuwolf 4
Your sister is a total badass. :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (187)
Sheh_fml 25
So she's rude and got what she deserves. Is the FML-part supposed to be that your girlfriend is bitchy, or that your sister has the courage to stand up to her immature insults when you don't?
Nanael_fml 4
It's called respect your sister has it and you gf don't. Your sister by keeping her cool in your house your gf by thinking she should in hers. Guess your sis showed her disrespect is appreciated
fernclogger 5
Joe Rogan voice: "AND IT'S ALLL OVERRR!!!!!"
runalexarun 6
You're girlfriends a bitch.
Steffi 26
I would break up with her if I were you, anyone who thinks your sister is a stupid bitch, and is stupid enough to say it in-front of her, is most likely a stupid bitch herself.
Chaos72 15
If I had a gf and she said that I would tell her gtfo family always comes first
Le_Anonymous 9
Your girlfriend deserved it.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
She's learned a very valuable lesson. She learned she's the stupid bitch. She's a bitch for saying something nasty to her boyfriend's sister. And she's stupid for saying it that damn close to her.
Missusluv313 9
I would have hit her ass too. She totally had that coming. She let her mouth write a check her ass couldn't cash. I would have LOVED to see the look on her face when your sister punched her. What happened after the punch? Please share!
spottyblanket 8
Your GF is rude