Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she thought I was cheating on her. With my own sister. FML
Today, while caring for my drunk girlfriend, she confessed that she cheated on me 3 different times with my sister. Now I know why they are always spending time together. FML
Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML
Today, my sister got caught cheating on her boyfriend. She was cheating on him with my boyfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she apparently saw me making out with her sister. She doesn't even have a sister. FML
Today, I was going on a date with my girlfriend. When I took her home, her sister came to the door. I used to date her sister and I didn't know they were related. My girlfriend realized this, then kicked me in the crotch. FML
Today, I admitted to my girlfriend that I had cheated on her. She didn't tell or get mad, oh no. She looked at me for a few seconds then burst out laughing and called me a liar. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. When I confronted her, she yelled at me for not noticing the signs sooner. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML
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Top comments
Since1998 20
Got ****** over twice
toxic_walrus 15
Remember that for when she comes crying to you about her boyfriend
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Comments (92)
Since1998 20
Got ****** over twice
kimmysmiley 2
Wow OP the police. You dont deserve that. :(
Chelsknowls 2
Omg OP call the police you dont deserve that. :(
Hopein2025 14
Dont give a **** about her life
cwells0430 12
????priceless
LunaaBluee 27
Was it the middle finger doe..?
Welshite 40
Deer have hooves...
ChaCerCam1 5
probably a pinky resembling the size of ...
CharismaGeek 19
Ummm, #2 does it matter?
Mattaguirre_ 15
Ouch
RusticChick 27
Your sister has quite the sense of humor.. lol. Still sorry about the situation though, OP
drunkmunkey 24
then OP comes back with telling his sister that his ex cheated with his sisters guy... funny sense of humor
ChaCerCam1 5
she's just saying that she doesn't need to give a **** and isn'going to.
RusticChick 27
I never stating it was a good sense of humor, nor a bad one for that matter. Just that she had one, maybe an interesting one. I found it somewhat humorous. Rude, but still humorous.
miianah1 22
Lol yeah, OP should look on the bright side. I thought he was going to say that his sister told him she was the "other woman"
_parth 20
Can't go to sisters for that matter. Sisters always hate girlfriends
JRT98 12
Not true, my sister thought my last girlfriend was pretty cool...
tournamentdecide 33
My brother always thought I thought that.
killerdana 19
Maybe she knew her brothers girlfriend was shady and tried to tell him but he didn't listen. That happened with my brother and when he came to me complaining about his gf cheating on him I did my "I told you so" dance
Mads_1234 28
I've hated pretty much every single one of my brother's girlfriends (they were horrible). It just means we care!
Omegapi197 12
Or he is the type to date b#@*hy user girls. One of my best friends always dates the ahole. There were only so many times I could care when she gave me the sob story over and over.
tournamentdecide 33
This is FML, a website where we are allowed to say bitchy. It is a lot easier on the eyes than what you put.
adkim78 17
Do that next time she comes to you for moral support and see how she likes it
rambleramble3 11
Damn, you as cold as ice! But funny lol.
Kyle1dc 17
#7 You know what they say, revenge is a dish best served cold.
ChaCerCam1 5
she won't be able to get in a relationship if she's that big of a bitch.
toxic_walrus 15
Remember that for when she comes crying to you about her boyfriend
GlasgowSneer 13
IF she has a boyfriend. I couldn't picture she does.
Axel5238 29
She may have seen Op's gf showing behavior that it wasn't a surprise or she could be someone that contributes to textsfromlastnight or at has stuff contributed about them.
ThePaperDragon 31
What an interesting sense of humor! A bit dark for my taste, but interesting nonetheless.
mld4657 28
Lmao sorry your girlfriend broke up with you op but your sister is funny
gramirez23 9
It's because he didn't keep calm and slap that ass ?
Marie54321 19
Sisters don't typically give a **** about what happens in their brothers lives so now you know to never go to her for moral support ever again
more4me 27
Hey don't put all sisters in the same basket ! Just because OPs sister is a bitch doesn't mean everyone else is.
stargirl_95 24
Actually most sisters are decent human beings who do care about their siblings. OPs sister was just being a bitch
HarleyQuinn1996 8
I give a **** about my brother's life. Especially his love life. He's my baby brother, if he ever came to me and told me his girlfriend cheated on him, I would be in jail for murder, and possibly assault
sweetbliss3 37
48- a little extreme wouldn't you say?
HarleyQuinn1996 8
Compared to the other things I've threatened to do to people who do something to my little brother, I would say that's mild.