Today, my girlfriend and I got into a heated argument at a house party. To avoid a huge scene, I pulled her into another room, during which I managed to trip over my feet and faceplant the floor. She shouted, "Hah! That's what you get!" Now everyone thinks she beat the shit out of me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML
Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML
Today, on the advice of several friends, I tried to de-escalate a stupid argument with my fiancée by kissing her. She slapped me senseless and whooped my ass up and down the house until I escaped to the car. FML
Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML
Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
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Top comments
every1luvsboners 11
That means now you can play the sympathy card to get a couple BJ's. Stretch that shit out for as long as you can.
Falassalond 16
Sounds like you guys need a vacation. Have a nice trip!
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Comments (150)
Pelvispresley 8
She's a keeper...
Goldenchest 14
You could've.. y'know... waited till the party was over before arguing
talinatr 1
Better to find out you two don't get along when she's just your girlfriend, not your wife or fiancé!
UberNova 18
29 - many/most/all couples have 'heated arguments' at some point, doesn't mean they aren't right for each other.
1221jamw 11
Meh you can't really help it when arguments happen, doesn't mean that they are not good for eachother or a bad couple, just means they disagreed on something. The fact that he fell and she made a remark was just out of anger, so for us to assume she's a bad girlfriend or that they are not a good couple is very stupid. EDIT- 42 beat me to this..
IAmJad 18
10, the point of replying to a comment is to actually reply.
gmc_blossom 21
42- For a second, I thought your name was "UberHaxorNova." Like that one epic dude on YouTube. Then I realised it wasn't. O.o
HickChick23 0
83, you're a closed minded hypocrite. you cant even see both sides of a story. so much for empathy huh?
HickChick23 0
EDIT i meant 82.. i hate when im being smart ass and screw it up. damn.
_Oblivion_ 12
You won't* agree on everything. It just doesn't work that way, every so often shit emerges and you get over it. That's what part of it is about, seeing what's in someone other than some of the defects
boofgall 16
1- Your own picture is frowning down on your overused comment.
Snazzy_Snaz 17
131, you're trying way too hard to explain this. Big and smart words don't make you a big and smart boy. OP had an argument with his girlfriend. He probably wanted to move to a private area to avoid causing a big scene in front of everyone (it says they're at a house party) he accidentally fell and his girlfriend thought he deserved it. Eeeaaassyyy
HickChick23 0
hey, 131, go away. why are you arguing in public? that's trashy remember?
nabee26 15
134- I agree with everything you said. You stated it perfectly. :)
Jeffo193 13
At least it didn't wind up looking like she beat the shit out of you
Jeffo193 13
*like you beat the shit out of her :-P
Sinamoi 18
I'm guessing you just kinda said "**** it" to that last sentence in the FML.
blaackandprouud 20
"Now everybody thinks she beat the shit out of me"
Esavage93 7
That's exactly what happened.
Jeffo193 13
I'm guessing you kinda said "**** it" to reading the comment where i corrected it.
Sinamoi 18
That comment was also posted right after yours. Check the times buddy.
zombiebombatron 6
He's just a troll haha.
Sinamoi 18
Hey, I only troll when it's necessary. This was just a time thing. If I had seen his correction, then all would have been dandy, but my comment was already posted before his was visable to me. I take responsibility for that. :P
cartooncharacter 9
71=====TROLL
every1luvsboners 11
That means now you can play the sympathy card to get a couple BJ's. Stretch that shit out for as long as you can.
boating_guy 33
the BJ's don't necessarily have to be from the girlfriend...
KitKat16 9
That's lovely...I mean it...just wow
YakuzaxGeneralz 9
76. its funny because nobody even asked you
kroekdog 7
Good ******* lord you get annoying quickly.
canjeelo 0
Finally, I'm first for the first time!!!!!! :() :)))))
zen4681 8
Op's girlfriend will not feel any sympathy, in fact, she's probably mad at him.
GracesDelirium 9
Slowly plotting her revenge.
every1luvsboners 11
Zen, shut-up you pretentious twat. If I want to jump to conclusions in my comment, I will. All of my comments have to include one of the words "BJ, rim-job, glory-hole, blow me, **** you. It's a prerequisite to my contract with FML.
Bluekaren16 19
Are fellatios the solution to every man's problems?
boating_guy 33
pretty much... it's like girls eating chocolate or ice cream
cartooncharacter 9
Yes yes they are. "are fellatios the solution to every mans problems?"
WaSiSimiLang 8
No, 49, it's beer... Beer is the cause and answer to all of life's problems, including alcoholism, and even that is debatable
Awkward_Science 2
I bet his ego hit the floor after that incident
botanistjessica 24
97, I'm very glad to see this "awkward science" put to good use lol
Falassalond 16
Sounds like you guys need a vacation. Have a nice trip!
alshygirl 14
See you next fall!
cartooncharacter 9
Oh, I'll spring right up and hit Summer in the boob! Right?
kamikrazy 6
80. What?
cartooncharacter 9
C'mon.... I tried. Think. Spring. Summer...****** idiots.
DracoSpirita 21
People always find it funny when a man gets beat up by a woman. Don't worry, it'll blow over soon. At least it relieved tension between you and your girlfriend.
annie_nk 23
If the girl tripped and guy said that, he'd be an abusive prick.
cartooncharacter 9
Love button for 67????!!!!!
22cute 17
Quit your bitching
redreynard 14
Consider yourself lucky it didn't come to that. She probably was planning on it anyways..
SqueakyChipmunk 22
These are the types of girls that DESERVE to be embarrassed by a big scene. ******' bitch.
missyfiona89 28
She probably said, "that's what you get", because she's angry and op's a klutz. And oh, I dare u to embarrass bitch. You know what they say, "payback's a bitch. Esp when the one dealing it out is a bitch".
SqueakyChipmunk 22
After the first sentence, I couldn't understand anything you said due to bad grammar.
missyfiona89 28
Oops. What I meant was, "I dare you to embarrass a bitch".
SqueakyChipmunk 22
I've done it before. Plenty of times in school. Let's just say I don't like it when bitches throw shit at me. Don't get mad, get even!
missyfiona89 28
Well, there had to be a reason why they threw shit at u.
MustangGirl72 9
You must not know school girls. They can be real bitchy even if you don't do anything.
gracehi 33
Probably because of the obnoxious squeaking.
missyfiona89 28
In Asia, we always have a reason for picking on someone. It may not be legit, but at least there's one. Lol.
missyfiona89 28
.
CareFace 16
50, you just proved him right. "it may not be a legit reason, but it's a reason to have a go at them."
downtime 13
Her actions here would define whether or not she's a bitch. If she went along with it trying to embarrass him then yes, she is a bitch. If she tried to support you on it then she's absolutely done nothing wrong.
staceejaxx 6
...............
Jeffo193 13
At least it didn't wind up looking like you beat the shit out of her...
epic13 12
Then he would be shunned forever.
Canucksftw24 6
Yet its helarious when it looks like she beat the shit out of him... Am I the only one who thinks theres a problem with this?
Jeffo193 13
No you're not...and it's spelled "hilarious"
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I guess it depends how you pulled her. If you were angry and jerked her into the other room, YDI. My dad's an abusive asshole and does shit like that to me. But...I do have to admit, it's pretty funny that you faceplanted.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I also don't mean to sound like a whiny bitch. I'm just trying to see it from all perspectives. I don't see why people are saying to break up with her. They were just having an argument, and, hey, doesn't everyone say shit they end up regretting during a fight?
Sinamoi 18
I usually end arguments by striping down to my underwear and dragging my ass across the ground. Seems to solve things rather quickly.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
I WOULD LIKE TO LEARN THIS TRICK OF "STRIPING" DOWN TO YOUR UNDERWEAR!!!
Sinamoi 18
Hush, I made a typo.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Hush, I made a joke.
Sinamoi 18
I do what I want woman.