Today, I bought some roller skates to go with the set my daughter got for her birthday. I haven’t skated since I was a kid, but I figured it was like riding a bike and I couldn’t have forgotten altogether. My broken coccyx disagrees. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I tried to go rollerskating with my kids. I wasn’t even able to fully stand up before I fell and broke my leg. FML
Today, my physio told me that due to my illness, roller-skating is too ambitious an activity. I grieve who I used to be, and the life I used to be able to live… FML
Today, I had my first ice skating lesson. I had to wait five years for a rink to open in my town, two weeks for my lessons to begin, but only ten minutes to fall and hit my tailbone so hard that I can't walk. FML
Today, I tried to be the cool older cousin by teaching my nephew how to skateboard. He’s now doing tricks, and I’m sitting on the sidewalk with a sprained ankle because I haven't skated since the Bush administration. FML
Today, I finally give rollerblading a try, since it looked so effortless. I put on all the gear and started skating down the street. Within seconds, I lost control, crashed into a garbage bin, and rolled directly into my neighbor's yard. I was so embarrassed that I just lay there pretending I was "just fine, really" while their dog licked my face. FML
Today, I went ice skating at a place with the most terrible rental skates. Pair 1 was too worn out, pair 2 too small, pair 3 damaged inside. I thought pair 4 was finally a winner, until I got on the ice and realized the blades were fucked. I went flying forward, landed hard, and slid across the ice like a penguin. FML
Today, I went skating at the local rink. I had a really hard time balancing and was falling all over the place. After everyone had a good laugh, someone finally decided to tell me that one of my blade covers was still on, thanks. FML
Today, I didn't know how to stop while rollerblading and unfortunately, had an accident that broke my wrist. Then, because I have soft bones, I developed moderate scoliosis. It's been about 10 years of scoliosis. I can no longer rollerblade, downhill ski, cross country ski, or snowboard, even if I wanted to. FML
Today, my crush and I went longboarding, because she’s into it and I told her I was too. I’d never set foot on a longboard, but I figured I’d wing it and pray for the best. Long story short, I ended up with a broken arm and a concussion. Bad decisions, man. They suck. FML
Today, I managed to break my ankle by running it over with the wheelchair I've used on a daily basis for the last 6 years. FML
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Top comments
metroido 21
actually it is entirely possible to forget how to ride a bike. i learned and mastered it when I was 10, but didn’t ride again until I was 25. I’ve been trying for months and I still can’t even travel one foot without falling... and please don’t call me stupid. I’m painfully aware. I’ve actually tried to kill myself because of my low intelligence.
RichardPencil 32
Well, I guess you're not going to have anymore kids with a broken coccyx. I thought the medical term was penis, but I guess they came up with a new one.
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Comments (2)
metroido 21
actually it is entirely possible to forget how to ride a bike. i learned and mastered it when I was 10, but didn’t ride again until I was 25. I’ve been trying for months and I still can’t even travel one foot without falling... and please don’t call me stupid. I’m painfully aware. I’ve actually tried to kill myself because of my low intelligence.
RichardPencil 32
Well, I guess you're not going to have anymore kids with a broken coccyx. I thought the medical term was penis, but I guess they came up with a new one.