Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I wouldn't make my senior quote, "I love my girlfriend more than anything." FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me if I loved her. I tried to be cute and romantic and responded with a quote from the Notebook, which I watched with her yesterday. After I said, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird," she broke up with me because I was "phony and unoriginal." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me not to love her so much, so she doesn't have to try so hard to match my love for her. What the fuck? FML
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Top comments
Hollywoodgirl79 18
Although bacon is amazing and a direct gift from the gods, I think it's okay to lie and say that you don't love anything more than her in this instance
thatonegirlnic 10
Don't go bacon my heart
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Comments (201)
martin8337 36
Football would have been a better answer.
Breegotcake 14
Why would she even get mad? It's not like you said an ex or another female name. Honestly, if someone asked me I would say my mom & my niece. If it was a joke I would say say something stupid like bacon(which is freaking awesome). :)
ohnowhyme123 15
You can get her a bouquet of bacon roses as an apology
cvmac 1
she deserved it for asking a stupid question like that.
darkmis1 18
Haha I would've laughed at that...and I don't even eat meat. (Cue the dirty jokes.)
S4N 5
Hey that's a pretty good answer--I wouldn't have been offended by it; I make pretty good bacon lol :)
LissaMccracken 23
She shouldnt ask questions, if she's not prepared for the answer so.. I'm voting your life sucks
underthesea12 24
Remember bacon will always be there for you bro!
caden_bro 9
Bad move. Seriously, that's not a time to joke. And I'm hoping that was intended to be a joke.
davincidasecond 24
Ugh. I hate when significant others ask questions like that. It just screams insecurity. I still wouldn't have said bacon if I were you though OP, however great and delicious it is.