Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I wouldn't make my senior quote, "I love my girlfriend more than anything." FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me if I loved her. I tried to be cute and romantic and responded with a quote from the Notebook, which I watched with her yesterday. After I said, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird," she broke up with me because I was "phony and unoriginal." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me not to love her so much, so she doesn't have to try so hard to match my love for her. What the fuck? FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Hollywoodgirl79 18
Although bacon is amazing and a direct gift from the gods, I think it's okay to lie and say that you don't love anything more than her in this instance
thatonegirlnic 10
Don't go bacon my heart
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (201)
Lindz2817 10
You think? YDI
droln4maltesers 8
FYL for having a very sensitive girlfriend. My boyfriend and I always joke that we love bacon more than each other. It's BACON!
buckdharma 38
Maybe you could combine your two loves. Get her to strip tease until your meat sizzles.
ShittyBikes 6
And I wonder when the Internet Council of Elders will decide that bacon is cliché...
honeymoonroyale 20
Lol I would've laughed. How could.she be jealous of bacon. Besides.... BACON!
BDA_fml 5
Bacon will never ask if you love it.
CrazyMelvin 14
YDI. That's a sensitive subject to crack jokes about.
Ins0mau 20
Yes. Bacon surely is a sensitive topic.
alexlam24 3
Bacon is the food of Chuck Norris
tman1985 9
the heat generated from chuck's foot meeting air resistance and causing friction is enough to cook bacon perfectly
ChicKenza 4
You're supposed to say "the kids I want to have with you in the future" duh
Ins0mau 20
That'd freak my girlfriend out.
Devul143 12
sounds like she was trying to tell you she was pregnant.. lol but, bacon woulda been my answer too! ;)