Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I wouldn't make my senior quote, "I love my girlfriend more than anything." FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me if I loved her. I tried to be cute and romantic and responded with a quote from the Notebook, which I watched with her yesterday. After I said, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird," she broke up with me because I was "phony and unoriginal." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me not to love her so much, so she doesn't have to try so hard to match my love for her. What the fuck? FML
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Top comments
Hollywoodgirl79 18
Although bacon is amazing and a direct gift from the gods, I think it's okay to lie and say that you don't love anything more than her in this instance
thatonegirlnic 10
Don't go bacon my heart
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Comments (201)
Rudygurl97 3
Hmmm.... Bacon is probably the only thing I love more than a person. Totally understandable.
RageAwakened 6
It's a trap.
cycle227 3
You're clearly a beginner in being a boyfriend…the right answer is *drumroll* BEER!
Zebediabolical 45
Bacon flavored beer!
RedDragonx32 8
bacon bacon and more bacon. add some of that jack daniel sauwce !! too much epic meal time.
StompinOnCrayons 15
Your username makes this so much better
happyfingers 15
I can't say I blame you for thinking it, but c'mon. You had to know if she would take the joke well or not. lol
EvilLittleMan 23
I don't think Pigs in Blankets would have been a proper reply as well. Oink. Oink.
tvwrestler98 14
Both of you learn what love really is. This post just ruined my day because of the ignorance there is on real love. wow. FML
myusername23 17
Bacon is the correct answer.
Tumblrruinslives 1
Always remember; bacon can't give you bjs
Ins0mau 20
But you can give bacon bjs!!! :-)