Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I wouldn't make my senior quote, "I love my girlfriend more than anything." FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me if I loved her. I tried to be cute and romantic and responded with a quote from the Notebook, which I watched with her yesterday. After I said, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird," she broke up with me because I was "phony and unoriginal." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me not to love her so much, so she doesn't have to try so hard to match my love for her. What the fuck? FML
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Top comments
Hollywoodgirl79 18
Although bacon is amazing and a direct gift from the gods, I think it's okay to lie and say that you don't love anything more than her in this instance
thatonegirlnic 10
Don't go bacon my heart
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Comments (201)
Comoke1024 19
Well, when asked why, you could always remind her that "Bacon never asks dumb questions designed to get me into trouble."
Acherondh 0
I would have said our children. That would have gotten you laid big time broski.
mermaidgirl5413 10
I mean she shoulda just made you some bacon and laughed?
isela122496 9
I can hear my boyfriend saying tha same thing...
sxphysticated 17
Any answer other than "nothing and no one" is wrong to that question for most women. YDI for not registering that her tone of voice was sarcastic while asking that question.
lil_jimmy 29
Who doesn't love bacon?
T1A2Z3 35
Better than "your sister" worse than "of course not baby you're the best"
404wan 19
yeah, that's funny on the internet, not face to face to someone who is trying to have a romantic moment. and honestly, i know your're all kidding, but if you really feel that way that's intensely ******* sad.