Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I wouldn't make my senior quote, "I love my girlfriend more than anything." FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me if I loved her. I tried to be cute and romantic and responded with a quote from the Notebook, which I watched with her yesterday. After I said, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird," she broke up with me because I was "phony and unoriginal." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me not to love her so much, so she doesn't have to try so hard to match my love for her. What the fuck? FML
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Top comments
Hollywoodgirl79 18
Although bacon is amazing and a direct gift from the gods, I think it's okay to lie and say that you don't love anything more than her in this instance
thatonegirlnic 10
Don't go bacon my heart
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Comments (201)
imchacon22 19
I love bacon as well!
kumarina 35
It was a trap.... Like do I look fat
martin8337 36
#63. no you do not look fat at all.
fakedsincerity 32
I don't care if you're overweight; I've seen your soul, and you look great.
See_Be_Feel 13
This is wrong but bacon is amazing. So i can't really fault you on this
perdix 31
She'd be the perfect girlfriend if she invited you to a three-way: you, her and bacon. Is anybody out there thinking about having bacon during sex not getting horny? I didn't think so ;)
dudeimmadoc 9
Lol, at least you're honest. I'd find it funny :)
eternal_malaise 10
Search for "Does Bacon Really Make Everything Better? Here's The Math" by Maria Godoy, which is an attempt to prove bacon is best. Even so, I wouldn't have told your GF that.
MooseKnuckle5150 13
If she asks again say. "Your sister" then move on. These insecure ones will be nothing but drama and heartache throughout your relationship.
NocturnalCro 14
Women can't handle the truth.
bobo_the_bear 5
OP, you are either a smart-ass or a rookie at relationships. Tell her you meant her naked, covered in a mound of bacon,
escuelaboynico 7
You should've said "Yeah I will in a couple years another girl" -who? "She'll call you mommy"
smokecloud_ 37
if my boyfriend told me that, he wouldnt be coming near my ****** anytime in the near future. bacon bribes or not.