Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I wouldn't make my senior quote, "I love my girlfriend more than anything." FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me if I loved her. I tried to be cute and romantic and responded with a quote from the Notebook, which I watched with her yesterday. After I said, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird," she broke up with me because I was "phony and unoriginal." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me not to love her so much, so she doesn't have to try so hard to match my love for her. What the fuck? FML
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Top comments
Hollywoodgirl79 18
Although bacon is amazing and a direct gift from the gods, I think it's okay to lie and say that you don't love anything more than her in this instance
thatonegirlnic 10
Don't go bacon my heart
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Comments (201)
thatonegirlnic 10
Don't go bacon my heart
JustKittyKat 24
I couldn't if I fried.
perdix 31
Baby, you're not that swine.
heyyoitskiraaa 10
You take the grease off of me.
Ramanella 26
147- no just no. You ruined it.
jeepers_1 21
My boyfriend has said this to me before... I faked being upset and then laughed about it because I knew it was a joke.
Linaelle 14
... or was it?
perdix 31
Honesty is not always the best policy. You have to pretend that your perfectly natural and reasonable love of bacon is somehow less than your love for her, and no matter how fat her ass is, no pants ever make her butt look fat. Some lying is the bacon grease that allows civilization to run smoothly.
Playitlovely 13
YDI, you honestly arent mature or romantic enough for a relationship kid.
gracehi 33
Aw, c'mon. He was clearly joking. If my boyfriend said that, I'd probably laugh and say that I loved bacon more than him too. Sounds like SHE'S the immature one to me. She needs to grow up and acquire a sense of humor.
ashleyylove3 22
Agreed with #31 if my boyfriend said that to me I'd probably laugh it off and say the same! A good sense of humor is always attractive!
alycion 39
She deserved it. Like was already said, for not having a sense of humor and for fishing for compliments. It's not romantic to hear that you are the love of someone's life if you ask for it.
Rainhawk94 27
Umm you honestly don't underhand humor like really
FlyingPie 17
#65, that wad a very underhanded comment..
GymTanBacon 2
What are you a vegetarian?!
olpally 33
It's really good though! At least it was food and not someone else op.
JVIarijke 24
Yeah, that definitely is the wrong answer. Even though bacon is delicious. YDI
bioss89 16
The right answer is: "You". Everything else will get you in trouble. It's a TRAP!!!
RedPillSucks 33
There's a TROOOOLLLL in the dungeon
drewflav 17
No, there is in fact one correct answer which won't get him in trouble: his future children
NatalieOntheTram 11
Well, that comparison is ridiculous anyways. Bacon is in a league of its own. No man or woman could ever compare. Come on now.
who10nanny 8
YDI. Bacon is glorious, but you should know to never tell your girlfriend or wife that you love anything else more than them.
CelticReverie 5
Really now ? Not even as a joke? Sucks to be said wife/girlfriend for not having a sense of humor
spluver0005 17
That was a stupid thing to answer, but girls who constantly have to hear how much you love them aren't always the best girlfriends. Finding someone who has self confidence and a sense of humor could be a great thing for you