Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she can't treat me like the way I treat her. She said, "because you love me more than I love you." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend what her favorite quality about me was. Her answer, "Your car." FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because I wouldn't make my senior quote, "I love my girlfriend more than anything." FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me if I loved her. I tried to be cute and romantic and responded with a quote from the Notebook, which I watched with her yesterday. After I said, "If you're a bird, I'm a bird," she broke up with me because I was "phony and unoriginal." FML
Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm a vegan. She replied, "So, you're allergic to meat?" FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me what I wanted for my birthday. Apparently “A threesome” is not the appropriate answer. FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me not to love her so much, so she doesn't have to try so hard to match my love for her. What the fuck? FML
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Top comments
Hollywoodgirl79 18
Although bacon is amazing and a direct gift from the gods, I think it's okay to lie and say that you don't love anything more than her in this instance
thatonegirlnic 10
Don't go bacon my heart
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Comments (201)
mythicaltimes 15
Bacon trumps all.
JMichael 26
Well bacon is pretty amazing. But inform her you were joking even if you weren't.
ashleyylove3 22
This is probably one of my favorite FML's ever.
Hiktmae 20
He didn't deserve it! His girlfriend shouldn't feel offended, it's food! She should've laughed it off. If my boyfriend ever said that, I would find it funny.
JVIarijke 24
Yes, but he should've known his girlfriend well enough to know whether he could say that or not. Obviously, he didn't care enough to find that out so HDI.
fakedsincerity 32
me too #39! then we'd have pigged out on bacon and itd have been awesome. aw yeah.
jebron 13
Too needy
lacosh 4
I'd said bacon too
shazagurl 11
never EVER tell a girl something like that! you're just asking to get dumped. but in the same point Bacon is pretty awesome
mikaellikestacos 14
What Is the question Bacon is the answer ALWAYS
kappinlivy 9
She is right
logic368 8
Candied uncured bacon. Even better.