Today, for the second week in a row, my brother woke me up in the small hours of the morning begging me to help him figure out the math problem to turn off his phone's stupid-ass app alarm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I installed an alarm app on my phone. Turns out, to unlock the phone and get the ringing to stop, I have to answer a maths question. It took me ten minutes to get it right. FML
Today, like every day, I woke up at 3 in the morning because my roommate needs "a three hour warning" before his real alarm goes off. His alarm is a constant beeping noise which he always ignores for a good 10 minutes before finally getting up and turning it off. FML
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Today, I slept through my alarm and decided to call in sick. After falling back asleep, I woke up to my younger brother robbing my kitchen. It seems he's been doing this for weeks, every time I leave for work. He won't even give it all back. FML
Today, my phone alarm didn't go off this morning. Furious, I spent ten minutes complaining about technology before realizing I'd carefully set the alarm for 7:00 PM instead of 7:00 AM. The technology was actually innocent for once. FML
Today, I'm an insomniac. My husband knows this but still woke me up throwing a fit because he lost a round on his stupid fucking cellphone game. He has to watch a 15 second ad for another life; meanwhile, I’ll be lucky if I fall back asleep before the sun comes up. FML
Today, after weeks of insomnia, I fell asleep. This would have been great if my brother didn't wake me up at 3 a.m., screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded for thumping him, and have to do all his chores while sleep deprived. FML
Today, my mom woke me up in the middle of the night to make me help my brother write an essay. I read what he wrote so far, gave him my suggestions, and went back to bed. She woke me up 30 mins later because he just sat and stared at his paper instead of fixing anything. Somehow that's my fault. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate's alarm clock going off at 6:00 in the morning. His bedroom door was locked, and he was passed out in his bed from drinking too much. It rang continuously for five and a half hours before it finally ran out of batteries. FML
Today, after sacrificing multiple weekends to help my kid brother with his various projects, I asked him to help me with one of mine. He nearly blew up at the thought of losing an evening of his free time on a simple task, so I postponed it to later, which means never. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
goldensh0wer69 3
Whatever, math is hard.
gracehi 33
I have that app. Show him how to lower the math difficulty setting on the alarm... I don't doubt your ability to figure it out, but your brother is clearly too stupid to do it himself.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (127)
KrazieKleo 13
How old is your brother op? If he's old enough to have a phone he should be able to solve a math problem.
JustDerpin 11
Depends what the problem is. Or maybe since its early, he just can't think well like he would if he was wide awake
berichsoon 11
1- I've seen kids who are 9 and 8 year-old with phones better than mine. Age doesn't not matter to own a phone these days.
anab149 9
19 to bring you back, we are talking about the problem of op. Op, it means you are good at Maths, wow!! :) Gift him a alarm clock.
berichsoon 11
26- I felt like replying to # 1's comment, you got a problem with that?
MrSassypants 34
Yes.
hatesfate 6
26 - that's not how things work when you reply to a COMMENT and not the FML itself.
anab149 9
Berichsoon , It was my mistake, sorry :) you are right.
anab149 9
I thought to reply to op to make it visible, otherwise it would have gone to some page 3 4 where no body sees it.
saIty 17
Kids today: "OMG!! My parents won't let me have anything" - Via iphone.
iluvevil01 11
Am I the only one who remembers a past FML about a man not being able to turn off his alarm due to the same app? Maybe it's the same guy in a different FML O.O
XxDevilxXGt 26
Unless he put on some ridiculous integration calculus problem, those are always fun to do. ^^ Though I don't know how you end up putting on a math problem for an alarm that you can't even solve, unless he just typed in some random numbers/equations.
DogsPaw 16
Anab143 kinda just admitted to being a thread jacker... *pulls out gun* CAN I KILL IT???!!!
Forlorn420 9
^ attack, my minion!
Ameel_fml 19
"1- I've seen kids who are 9 and 8 year-old with phones better than mine. Age doesn't not matter to own a phone these days." Sad, but true. I was recently at hospital and there were a group of young kids in the waiting room, all playing with iPhones. They must have been only 4 or 5 years old, and they were throwing the phones around and generally treating them like crap. I can't imagine what a 5 year old would need with a phone, let alone one as expensive (and breakable) as an iPhone. >_>
devore504 7
99 i am sure it was their parents phone and not all kids act like that i know kids not even in school yet that can play with phones and ipads without throwing them
habibiiiiiii 2
Seriously delete the app moron!
goldensh0wer69 3
Whatever, math is hard.
SenselessPattern 12
Math, science, history, and english is hard. Maybe I should go to school one of these days.
berichsoon 11
Math, since, history, and English ARE hard, I think you are right, may be you should go to school.
hatesfate 6
^Science* Grammar nazi fail.
berichsoon 11
40- Lol you got me there, I'm not even gonna blame it on autocorrect, I type fast so it's my fault.
bitch_pleez 10
Math and science are so easy Source: calc bc and ap physics at 15 years old
ShyAnn29 15
I suck at math, some people are just bad at math.
Psych101 9
47- Saying math and science are easy is like saying purple is the best color. Oh, I didn't mean that they're opinions. I meant that they're both ridiculous. Blue is the best color.
DocBastard 40
Bitch_pleez - You know what else is so easy? Being an obnoxious 15-year old braggart. We aren't impressed, I assure you.
gc327072 31
Somebody go get Shrike, we got a douchebag on aisle 47.
JuliannVo 11
Math is hard o-o depends on which part of math it is.
diego2k5 6
33- *maybe
X_Codes 11
"Mathematics is the language with which God has written the universe." -Galileo
Crlnprz 11
#47 nobody gives a **** about what you do
outoftown 27
#66, Galileo explains why you don't want a math problem to turn off your alarm.
friedchickenpie 14
47 - If what you claim is even true (not too likely-this is the Internet), I wouldn't go waving it around. Just a helpful tip in life: People don't like when you act haughty. 53 - You're silly. Orange is without a doubt the best color.
buck33 14
"... Math, science, history unraveling the mystery that all started with a big bang."
alstbv12 13
It's ridiculous how much big bang theory i I've watched today 86
EverestMelting 23
-I'm 15 taking those classes as well, who gives a shit? No need to brag ass-hat.
GNR93 14
47-Shut the **** up you pretentious douche fag. Source: General consensus.
SenselessPattern 12
I would love to pretend my comedic genius meant for me to put "is", Unfortunately, I'm just that stupid I guess. Time to go write an FML about making a joke about being stupid while being stupid.
goldensh0wer69 3
111- You kind of just did anyway though...
AlexRen 21
53-your comment made me laugh. Red is the best color. If we had some proper methods on doing science & math life would be little less difficult.
SuperGirlTaDa 15
84- Orange is the best
j_cat187 20
#47 You can die now you elitist prick.
Welshite 40
2+2=4 Kids nowadays *shakes head*
MrSassypants 34
I almost forgot that is the answer to every math problem.
Welshite 40
It's actually incredibly hard to incorporate sarcasm in a series of numbers and letters; what was a scathing comment in my head obviously didn't translate very well into text.
MrSassypants 34
I knew it was sarcasm, didn't think it was funny, then I decided to be a ****. Hope that clears things up.
missalkali 8
I'm pretty sure it's getting all multiples of 9 back into 9… but I could be wrong…
maosquare 18
But 2+2=5!
MormonPornstar 7
1+1=3 Use a condom...
Steel_BZ 8
2 + 2 = fish
Bebbo_fml 21
Break his phone op. Problem solved for the both of you.
peachesncreem 21
Or maybe OP's brother can stop using the app?
berichsoon 11
Instead of breaking the phone OP can put a math tutor book and a calculator next to his bother's phone
llamafish 25
That'll never work, OP should just put a physical tutor by the book.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
OR, OP can change the alarm time to his own preference. Problem solved and never oversleep again.
lolmigosh 15
He should seriously delete or change the alarm app
WiderWille 11
Why? It seems to work, I mean, ops brother seems to get up when the alarm rings.
FMLKitten 15
5) No, he should set the alarm to an easier setting. I had an app alarm like that once. It asked me a mildly difficult math question to turn off the alarm, and wouldn't let me close the app until I answered the question. It makes your brain work to solve the equation, which helps you become fully awake. I highly suggest it, unless your poor at math. I don't remember the name though.
gracehi 33
I have that app. Show him how to lower the math difficulty setting on the alarm... I don't doubt your ability to figure it out, but your brother is clearly too stupid to do it himself.
WeAreRisen 6
What app is it?
maosquare 18
His brother can't deal with something hard in the morning.
shortgirl3 1
What app is it?
CoolRainbowdash 15
Tell him to delete the app
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
Or if that fails, get his phone and delete it yourself. Sure he can reinstall it but he might take the hint.
SuperGirlTaDa 15
Haha, I guess it's doing its job right. I feel for you though OP, my brother wakes me up in the middle of the night to ask if I'm sleeping just so he can say good night before he goes off to sleep.
Lunaa94 6
That's so sweet xD
traveler_ghost 12
Pull out the battery
Minna_fml 14
iPhones do not work this way...
wannabemom 5
Smartphones have internal batteries in which you're unable to remove.
fylx100 19
He could have an android. They have external batteries...
speckledots 29
Have you thought of taking the app off his phone yourself when you have it? I would.