Today, I found out my dad has a 1-in-a-million disease that makes your liver process pain medication at twice the rate of a normal person. If that wasn't bad enough, he also tells me he hopes I don't have it too, because it can be passed down. He said this because I'm 29 weeks pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found out my father didn't have a rare brain disease, and that he was just an alcoholic. I've been taking care of him every time his "brain disease" acts up, for 2 years. FML
Today, my father, who I haven't spoken to in over 12 years, contacted me. He just wanted to let me know that I should get tested for a rare neurological disease. The only thing the man has given to me since my conception is potentially a death certificate. FML
They **** you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do…
Today, I’m getting a very interesting demonstration of how genetics work: I have inherited all my dad’s health issues, plus those from my mom, plus a bunch of new ones that belong exclusively to me. FML
You what now?
Today, I had a seizure. My dad responded by saying it always happens with my disease. I never have had a disease. Now I have to wait for my dad to stop yelling at my mom about not telling me, so I can ask what I have in the first place. FML
Prevention
Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML
Support system
Today, I found out that I have a heart disease. When I went to tell my family, they all said that it should kill me faster so that I can donate my organs to my cousin. FML
Today, I got my medical checkup back. Apparently, I'm diagnosed with a liver condition generally found in alcoholics. I've never drank in my life. FML
Gotta lot going on
Today, my dad’s in hospice, my son was diagnosed with a second rare disease, my wife is unemployed with alcohol and depression issues, to the extent of having ruined our marriage by driving us into bankruptcy. I have high blood pressure and quite honestly, I’m surprised I haven’t had a stroke or a heart attack with all this. FML
The truth
Today, my father informed me that I was born only because my mom lied about being on birth control. FML
Looking forward to it
Today, I found out that my unborn son has an abnormally large head. I have an abnormally small and narrow pelvis, and I'm allergic to local anesthetic, so no epidural or spinal for me. FML
Top comments
jrdirtbike114 2
^ Reading comprehension fail
Stunsz 0
One in a million besides no pain no gain and from your pain comes an enfant who willl love you till hes 10 and tell you to stay outta his life till 21 :)
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Comments (216)
JocelynKaulitz 28
it is one in a million, so there might not be a chance.
joseph42424233 0
number 1- you are as stupid as you are ugly.
Jvr91 8
wow ur cool dick
UtterCatastrophe 4
It depends on the genetics of the gene. typically when one person has it their children will either be a carrier or take on the disease. Though there are a lot of factors that play. But she does have a higher chance than he did because of genetics. Familial down syndrome runs in families, and descendants are more likely to obtain the disease. Perhaps the gene is like that. OP you better get that checked out (though I highly doubt you wouldn't know by now. I'm sure you've taken plenty of pain medicine before like Tylenol or something and would know)
The_Creeper_fml 8
If you are one in a million there are 16000 of you in China.
Ukjames1993 0
39 there aren't 16 billion people in China
TaylorTotsYumm 10
See if it's sex-linked or not.
Monstee 2
The whole genetics idea rules out 1 in a million. It now just depends on whether the trait was dominant or recessive to determine if you got it. Its unlikely considering the mother probably didn't have it.
Tcaret300 12
wow 41 ur dumb that's sixteen THOUSAND
JojoChuo 8
Lol I was thinking about that too 76 xp
BlaiseTheCraze 0
76 and 77, 41 is saying that by OP Using the fact that her father/(her?) has a "one in a million" disease, that means that for every 1 OP there is an estimated number of people in china who also have it, by dividing the total population of china by one million. Therefore, 41 is correct in pointing out that the idea that the population of china is 16 billion, (leaving 16000 diseased citizens,) is ridiculous.
UtterCatastrophe 4
41 isn't wrong.... 16000x1000000=16,000,000,000. 39 stated if the gene was 1 in a million, then 16000 people in china would have it due to them having 16,000,000,000 people. though I'm not sure of china's population... But that is what I took from those two.
UtterCatastrophe 4
Oops I repeated the previous post :) Didn't see it before I replied.
rabid_hobo 0
aww man, I wanted to explain basic math.
Boothroid 0
isn't one in a million a way to turn a phrase? its just a saying meaning very rare?
legonut6 0
I don't get it. what's the big deal about having this disease? it makes the pain go away faster. bitch should stop complaining.
MrsLender_fml 3
Yes 97, at first it makes the pain go away faster but then it comes back faster as well since the medication was used up quicker than usual.
brkn_hearted 0
if it's one in a million, then it's a recessive gene, which would require your mom to have it as well to give it to you. and even then its 25% chance even then. the simple fact that you're a woman means you're XX, your mom will have almost definitely (cant say definitely because there's the chance she didn't, but statistically speaking would be near 0) have given you both of her safe XX. worst realistically speaking case scenario is you'd be a carrier...
watch1988 3
Actually it's nothing like Down's syndrome, which is not a gene mutation, it's a complete extra chromosome. It is inherited but it can cause a lot of problems with pain medication, which you can't simply double the dose. You have to be very careful when taking pain medication, and it wouldn't necessarily be caught before now.
The_Creeper_fml 8
I'm fairly certain China's population totals 1.6 billion. However I'm also fairly certain I've been wrong about these things before.
skylerj94 0
119. being one in a million doesn't make it recessive. I could be dominant and be rare. in fact having five fingers is a recessive gene whereas having six fingers is a dominant trait... as I said before being exerting doesnt mean it's one in a million. :P
LSU33DucKAholiC 0
83 = win
bioboy725 10
Look at the upside, if your liver processes that faster it'll most likely process alcohol faster too meaning being drunk/hungover for less time.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Let's all do some Punnett squares.
hunterfreed31 0
135 lol that is a good upside :P
skullbashd 3
I'm surprised no one picked up on 41's grammar, "there aren't".
Anaxes 5
#142 - There are not 16 billion people in China? How is that wrong? I think there's a reason nobody "Picked up" on it.
browntiga 0
lol nice but then again if she processing pain medication twice as fast why don't they just give her twice the medication
ktrox39 0
I'm sorry but I just have to laugh at the early comments saying that there are 16 billion people in china.
Mindtrap 0
wait isn't that a dumb and dumber reference? did no one else see that?
theMelimda 3
agreed. lord help this generation...
dre_bro11 12
150, although the body is processing the medications quicker, I'm not quite sure it would be safe to have them twice as often. I'm assuming that there is still going to be traces of the medication in the body although the effects have worn off, which would result in an overdose if she took it too often.
cubie21 7
lol! I remember those... :/
sally0471 3
After 29 years, I would think you would know if you had it or not.
jrdirtbike114 2
^ Reading comprehension fail
CarleeBugg123 5
I admire your optimism! xD
MissEmma_fml 22
The OP is 29 weeks pregnant. Not 29 years old.
Shootamonkey3 0
She said she was 29 weeks pregnant, dumbass. Where the **** do you get 29 years?
1217jonathan 15
it's the opposite because, that's how we gave birth for 1000s of years
sally0471 3
AHAHA!! I TOTALLY didn't mean that!! I was thinking "I wonder how old she is" and by the time I was commenting I forgot the pregnant thing, SORRY!!!! anyways, after fifteen years, you would know!
mamaklm 0
your stupid. OP said 29 WEEKS PREGNANT
iluvhobos 5
15 years?! now, how did you get that?
unrelentless 0
she's 29 weeks pregnant not 29 years old
tigerlily7 0
You're an idiot. You apparently don't know any kind of grammar.
cupcake10101 0
^ she already said it she realizes it
a1995production 0
your stupid what if she is younger or even older?
shellzy 20
Your stupid Oh delicious irony
moogiex9 6
The sad thing is, #33, that I doubt that #32 will understand why you are saying that. *sigh*
katydidbug 6
I'm pretty sure 18 meant that no matter how old she is, even once she had turned 15 she should have known. Not that OP is actually 15.
Dreamcatcher619 6
you's are stupid yes she didn't realize it was 29 weeks pregnant but you never know she could also be 29 years old too.
0opsie 6
Holy shit, people. She was probably just reading quickly and skipped over it. Why are you all calling her stupid, even after she said she realized her mistake? Brain farts happen to everyone.
brycereid 0
Thank you 67, you must be one of the only smart nice people on here. These dumb trolls need to stop judging.
deOrca 8
I'm 19 and I've never taken pain medication so I could unknowingly have the disease as well. Why do you say that she'd know it at the age of 15?
Susieee_Q 9
^^ Because there is a chance that she might have taken medication before in her life, like an aspirin, or something & would have realized it. Although I can see how it's possible how a person might never know. Like you said, they could have never taken medication or, I mean, I really don't know anything about this condition at all & whether it would work the same on pain relief for mild pain (like Tylenol or Advil) & pain relief for severe pain like, say, Vicodin or even more intense pain killers.
chickie12345 0
89= total winn
conor19 0
she said fifteen because most girls would get pregnant after their 18 but some ***** get pregnant as young as 15 and some diseases stay dormant for as long as a life time without you knowing.
valri3 0
All of you guys need to get off of her case. She has already explained that she realized her mistake. sheesh...
valri3 0
All of you guys need to get off of her case. She has already explained that she realized her mistake. sheesh...
sassygirl14 0
fail
Thatswhatshesaid_fml 3
you people are idiots.
Altosax 4
I'd just like to point out that a person with a profile pic of Justin Beiber just told you that you failed. Now that is failing.
boyguydudemalema 0
wow, people overreact so much, the chick just made an honest mistake jeez, it's not like any of you never had mistakes before. is it because she's ugly? i think she's ugly but it doesn't make her stupid . . . just . . . ugly.
hunterfreed31 0
^^fail? you're the one with a Justin Beiber picture
babyyappld 7
133 atleast she puts up a real picture unlike you who hides behind an ice cream container....
VorpikeII 17
I completely doubt you have never taken pain meds before cause things like tylonel count. also, this disease has been known to develop around a persons later teens in some cases.
sweetthing333 0
she might not know no matter how old she is. i'm 18 and i can't take tylenol or anything similar to it because i have a hypersensitivity to it (it gives me a fever instead of reducing it). Though I would imagine the disease would work for all medications instead of just pain meds. Would have to research it more if OP had told us what the disease was.
VorpikeII 17
umm a fever is a god thing, it's your body's way of burning and killing the germs.
dylpikle 0
no no.. she is 29 WEEKS pregnant!!! duh
ChibiChibi_fml 28
That is only until you hit a certain temperature or depending on how your body works. In most cases though if you are running a fever of 101 degrees f for longer than a couple of days or if you creep up towards 104f a doctor is going to say the fever needs to be brought down.
sweetthing333 0
#179 - not when the fever hits 106 and typically rises. OP, have your doc check and see. If you do happen to have it, they can more than likely work with you; ie allow you to have a higher dosage but give it to you in increments to ensure it lasts through the birth. You have options besides natural childbirth if that is not what you want to do.
DCFan 9
hahaha
poiuytjfffc 0
u guys r all ****** tards
j50125 4
so sorry! I accidentally gave this thumbs up, my bad cuz it sucked
NattyB123 8
Apologies if this sounds really stupid, but why is it so bad if your body processes pain medication twice as fast? Wouldn't that just mean you don't wait as long for the medication to kick in? I don't understand the disease...
numbr1girl 9
Because the OP is pregnant duh people would at least get pregnant by 20 other then teen moms
Poepiepiesie 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Giving birth without painkillers is wrong. The body just doesn't work that way.
WithaKay 4
That's actually exactly how the body works.
just_lol 0
How did they manage the million past years then?
nikkilynne 0
I personally am giving birth without painkillers, just like my mother, grandmother and great-grandmother did. It is indeed possible. :)
heathersmorin 0
I gave birth twice without pain medication or epidural. It is very possible. You go through that extreme pain then when you have your new child you completey forget all the pain you were in. Now afterward, ya I was doped the hell up with whatever they were giving me.
tjv3 10
11 it has been done for centuries with out narcotics. the human body can do it
SirEBC 7
Consider the sarcasm missed.
sommerh 0
LOL wow
chester75 5
just the other day I gave birth to beautiful five pound shit, if I didn't need pain killers then neither do you.
cass85 8
I've never understood this precious smugness some women have over how they give birth or plan to give birth without pain killers. "All that pain is worth it" - Well, I expect it is, and, sure, women have given birth for millenia without pain relief, but I fully intend to take whatever the hell is offered to me because if I don't have to suffer this grotesque agony that people seem to PRIDE themselves on going through then why the hell would I? Also, at the end of the day, I don't understand why people even care by which method another mother gave birth because, surely, one would think, the baby - the result of it all - is a million times more worth talking about than comparing and criticising each other's birth stories and plans. My mother never told us how we were born before because it wasn't at all important to her - what was important is that she has three grown up, healthy, happy children that have become pretty robust adults. It was only in the past year it somehow came up that I was an emergency ceasarian, my sister was elective and my brother was delivered under edipural and anything else they could give her. Did my mother's want to not experience pain in birth in any way prevent her from being a good parent? Dear God no. I will never understand the smugness of this ongoing conflict. Giving birth, whilst the first thing most women will do as a parent, does not generally fall under the catagory of "parenting".
Bontoi 2
Thank you.
Proudmary 2
My mom constantly talks about my sister's birth, because she went into labour whilst thinking she was taking a crap.... Well I have no idea what happened besides that, but the image of my mom giving birth on the toilet is enough for me.
meteor_stream 9
cass85, you sound like the only sane person here. I totally do not comprehend how making the birth process easier for the mother can be considered something bad. What, if a woman doesn't feel pain during childbirth (which in turn makes her more relaxed and also prevents pain shock related issues), she isn't "a real mother"? Damn mompetitors. A result is important, but the process is important as well.
meteor_stream 9
200, that just means that you're an adequate person. The people here who bash OP for her wanting to have medicated birth are the ones it was addressed to (for example, comment #19). "Mompetitors" make it sound like "natural childbirth" is the only correct thing to do, and some of those even go as far as to claim that things like c-section are "unnatural" and "harmful to the baby", while they're in fact lifesaving for the said baby's mother.
Stunsz 0
One in a million besides no pain no gain and from your pain comes an enfant who willl love you till hes 10 and tell you to stay outta his life till 21 :)
rebekahah 7
nice. ;)
Dreamcatcher619 6
maybe your life was like that, but ten wow thats pretty sad so why do your parents hate you?!
moosemonkey1000 6
cuz he's adopted.
skylerj94 0
I'm pretty sure it was a joke chill out.
RockstarRN 10
Make sure your OB knows! And don't worry...back in the day women gave birth without ANY medication!
sally0471 3
AHAHA! I just realized I did that. oops! SORRY!! I was thinking "I wonder how old she is??" but still, after the first fifteen years, you should know!
ydi_4_suking 20
yea but were not back in the day anymore
whippymcdumb4zs 0
we're**
RODEOqueen 0
Plenty of women still choose natural birth with no drugs. That's my birth plan, and it's not a big deal. The human body is capable of coping with great deals of pain.
ydi_4_suking 20
yea sorry the phone didnt fix it and i was too lazy to go back and fix it
ladybugobgyn 0
I love birth plans. The more specific the better. Your ob will love it too. Especially ones refusing this intervention or that modification. I REALLY enjoy plans that exclude an IV. That way, when the patient or baby crashes, it adds to the excitement and memories. I usually add an operative consent to my extensive birth plans. Adding the time of the c-section to the plan is pretty helpful too.
RODEOqueen 0
I'm open for changes, but if it goes to plan, there won't be an epidural. Go somewhere else with your negativity.
ladybugobgyn 0
I'll be going to the operating room.
LSU33DucKAholiC 0
71- did you really just correct that?? I think we all know what was meant..
instantmusic 4
Good stuff 73, it takes balls to give birth Au natural, plus you get the eternal bragging right for going through the experience.
yesmanddd 4
#78 - arh, the sweet sweet irony! gotta say, you made my day right there.
Jeffo193 13
Yeah, they also frequently died in childbirth.
SammyS2012 21
They died more often because the doctors themselves were dirty; they didn't wash their hands and so the woman was exposed to a bunch of yucky stuff. The human body can go through an immense amount of pain.
derpina72 23
Yup, I plan on going med. free, too #73. I've heard a lot about epidurals messing up women's backs. Also, women died during child birth years ago because of doctors' uncleanliness, and also genuine lack of medical knowledge. They would TEAR the placenta out because they thought it was a bad thing, but really doing that caused major bleeding and killed many women. The placenta gets expelled from the body on its own time.
CarleeBugg123 5
That's gotta be a horrible pregnancy! I agree, YLS. But congrats on your baby! :P
nativeboy 0
sucks for you
moogiex9 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Birth is a natural process. It is NOT an illness or an injury. Thousands of women have and STILL DO give birth without painkillers. Suck it up, princess.
ladybugobgyn 0
Oh for the love of all that is holy. Why should she have to suffer during childbirth when there have been advances in modern medicine to help? Epidurals are wonderful to help your body relax and do what it needs to do, as well as helping lower blood pressures in pre-eclamspia. How do pain medicines cause vaginal tearing? If you don't want pain medicine, lovely. However, it is absolutely ok to plan on pain management during labor. Knowing this family history will help her OB and anesthesia manage her.
vettle 6
a lot of people died too before pain killers. shall we go back to that? no.
69_jackson_69 0
Holy SHIT 66 write a book!
daybowbow 0
Fuuuuuuck that. The whole birth process to me is gross and terrifying (notice I said "to me," don't go buck wild on me here). So yes, please! Dope me up. I'd get knocked out too if that were possible.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
I don't get why "Women have given birth for thousands of years without pain medication" is considered a good argument for why women shouldn't take the medication. There are plenty of things that were done for thousands of years before science and medicine made advancements. For example, doctors used to bleed people to relieve them of diseases. That sometimes worked, does that mean we should go back to doing that? I personally don't think so.
ReynshineCutting 10
There's no reason NOT to plan pain meds into your delivery. Why the hell should we have to suffer through that when modern medicine can stop that? Are you going to have surgery one day and say "No thanks, Doc. I don't need anesthesia. Just give me a strap of leather to bite down on like they used to do."? I don't think so. If you don't want to take any pain meds during your delivery, that's fine, but there's no reason why every woman should be like that. I originally wanted to have a water birth with no pain meds at all, but then I realized that I can't even get out of bed for a couple days because of cramps on my period and I have to take Vicadin just to get through it. So **** that.
UnDerThEcaRpEt 0
agreed natural birth is far better for the child rather than being a pu$$y about the pain, all they really had in the western days was tough women none of u sissy b!tches
aleagator 10
so true. my thoughts exactly.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Or we could all pour booze down our throats like so many used to do since they didn't have the pain medications.
ladybugobgyn 0
162-You are a moron and a weenie. Let's say that the baby's heartrate crashes and mom needs a stat section. Which do you think is better for the baby-dosing up the epidural or general anesthesia? I'll give you a hint, it's not general anesthesia. Stop speaking out of your ass.
meteor_stream 9
19, try having your episiotomy done without painkillers. Then suck it up as well. Maybe it will teach you to stop being a royal bitch.
betty66 3
Suck it up? Really?? Have you ever given birth??
lottiebearx 10
...#66, how the **** do you people give birth? When I had my baby, I used gas and air. It's not pain relief; it makes you high as a ******* kite so that the pain, really, is pretty uninteresting. I'm sure women 'back in the day' had their own tricks of the trade for getting through long, boring, goddamn painful births, it's just a shame that some women need to take everything to the extreme and make life a lot harder for themselves. Also, please tell me you've actually had children so you're not one of these women who forms righteous views on something they know nothing about.
annetsplayground 2
just remember that a natural birth is usually a lot faster and results in less tearing, because you can actually feel what's going on and when exactly to push, instead of someone else having to tell you.
styphon 5
you are correct. it is a local injected into the spine and had poor systemic absorption. but she may not get an epidural, there are iv and oral pain meds that can be given during labor that will have a systemic effect and thus be processed by the liver